


Kurama and the Time-Travel Fuuinjutsu of Doom

by Foodmoon



Series: Oddball fics [12]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Gen, Kurama does not appreciate it, Naruto sacrifices himself to save Kurama, Time Travel, Time Travel Gone Wrong
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-14
Updated: 2019-02-13
Packaged: 2019-05-21 23:54:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 32,028
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14925435
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Foodmoon/pseuds/Foodmoon
Summary: When Kurama underestimates the power drain of a time travel seal, Naruto sacrifices himself to protect Kurama, leaving behind a very disgruntled Kurama stuck as the sole inhabitant of Naruto's 3yr old body.Saving the future was supposed to beNaruto'sjob, not Kurama's! And pretending to be a tiny human isnotsomething he is good at.





	1. Kurama lands in the past. Alone.

**Author's Note:**

  * For [DreamingofDragon](https://archiveofourown.org/users/DreamingofDragon/gifts).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Because I am an evil author, and inevitably my brain will take things you talk about to strange, strange places.

Kurama _hates, hates, hates_ Naruto.

The stupid, selfless _moron_. So what if the time travel jutsu had wobbled part of the way through their journey? So what if he’d underestimated the chakra drain a little? That didn’t mean that the absolute _idiot_ had to waste all of his chakra and life force protecting _Kurama_ , especially not when Kurama has _so much more_ and the wobble had been smoothed out quickly. At worst, he would have just been drained to temporary hibernation while he recovered. _But no!_ The self-sacrificing _dolt_ had abandoned any self-preservation and _burned himself out of existence_ _entirely_ while protecting Kurama for that endless, timeless few seconds of miscalculation.

And now…

Now Kurama is stuck in the three year old body of a human jinchuuriki. _Alone._ Something about what Naruto had done had sucked his younger self right out of existence with him, or maybe the impact of Kurama arriving _without Naruto_ had wiped the tiny human mind of its soul. He’s not sure. _He doesn’t care_. Because they knew, they always knew, that coming back would absorb or sacrifice Naruto’s younger self, replacing him with the Naruto of _now_. No, of _then_. The now-future Naruto. _Who doesn’t exist anymore!_

The chance for a better future, a future where _90% of the people from every nation in the world die_ doesn’t happen, is worth some sacrifices. They’d both agreed to that. But this is _not what Kurama signed up for_. So, it’s not really the absence of the tiny human that bothers him. No, it’s the fact that _his Naruto is gone irretrievably_ , and as a result he _owns_ this tiny human body with its empty cage inside his mind. _(And he’s alone.)_ And somehow, some way Naruto’s sacrifice has contaminated his chakra. _It’s now blue!_

What self-respecting fox has _blue chakra!?_ Matatabi is going to tease him _forever_ , blasted cat!

Somewhere, somewhen in that no-time/nowhere, all-when/everywhere moment where Naruto burned himself out, he’d manage to mix a piece of himself into Kurama permanently. It’s not _him_ , it’s not even a chakra impression, it’s just contamination. But.

The one upside is that his _tiny human body_ is already adapting to having a new soul in charge. Although he’s not _entirely_ certain that chakra constructs are souls as he understands it, but close enough. What it means is that his chakra coils, already Uzumaki large, have already widened to a level comparable to Naruto’s at thirteen. Handy, as long as no one has actually been keeping track _and that’s not guaranteed_. There’s also some smaller, slower changes going on in his body that he doesn’t quite understand, because _human physiology_ has never been an area of interest for him, despite his chakra having healed his former hosts with extreme prejudice. He suspects, though, that it may be something along the lines of improving on the Uzumaki longevity. It makes sense. Uzumakis lived so long because of their massive _(for humans)_ chakra stores, and Kurama is nothing _but_ chakra, an extreme amount of it.

The downsides are obvious.

First, of course, he is _alone_ in his endeavor. Honestly, he’d been counting on Naruto to do the work and had just come along for the ride. Now he’ll have to do it all.

Second is that he’d come back _too far_. They’d been aiming for the Wave mission, or maybe right after graduation. He remembers Naruto nattering on about those two events. Kurama barely remembers Naruto at that age. Young, loud, determined and angry under his smiles. Naruto had gotten more interesting as his anger grew over time, so Kurama had paid more attention as the brat had aged. But age three? Kurama had basically napped through the first eleven years of Naruto’s life. He hasn’t the _faintest_ clue how the brat had lived or acted. Hopefully the obvious changes will be overlooked due to the speed with which tiny humans tend to change as they grow.

Third is that the bloody Uchiha clan is still around, and given that he’s far back enough to do something about the massacre, Naruto would probably expect him to. As much as he hates Uchihas, he has to admit that it was only Madara _(and Obito and Sasuke and Itachi)_ who had ever really wronged him. From what little he knows, the others just wanted to live in peace until that cowardly Councilman had pushed them into a corner of rebellion and then used Itachi _(and Obito)_ to slaughter them and take the blame. Also, a revenge obsessed Sasuke? Kurama can’t deal with having to grow up as his teammate. The glimpses he’d seen the first time around were bad enough, _thank you very much!_

Fourth, of course, and not least, is that he’s _three years old_. Even with the impossible strength granted him by being _actually a bijuu_ , he’s a tiny human now. He’s strong, but does not have the weight to back it up. He’s fast, but this body is still a kit’s, small, weak, untrained compared to what he will be in two years or five or ten. He’s old and cunning, but the foibles and social niceties of humans still baffle him. All it would take is one person suspecting and being canny and strong enough to catch him for him to be inspected and/or killed. Granted. Killing him isn’t actually possible. All it will do is free him from this mortal housing, but _it’s Naruto’s body_. He owes his stupid, stupid friend that much, at least.

The question is: How?

Well, there _is_ someone who might be useful. And someone who _might_ be convinced to give him a few necessary answers first.

~

Hatake Kakashi twitches as someone lands on the memorial stone and peers down at him. Blond hair, blue eyes, _tiny_. Far too young to know how to use the shunshin he’d obviously just used. Sensei’s son. The look in his eyes far too intent for his age.

“Where were you the night of the Kyuubi’s rampage?”

Kakashi stiffens. This child should _not_ know about the Kyuubi’s rampage. No, wait. The rampage is common knowledge. People just aren’t supposed to talk about _Naruto_. He relaxes fractionally. Then realizes that the kid is still expecting an answer. He clears his throat. “Behind a barrier. They refused to let us younger shinobi fight.”

“I see.” The words are thoughtful in tone, and far too old for the body. “Are there any one-eyed Uchihas in Konoha?”

He grates a laugh. Here is where he comes to be honest. This damned kid. He can’t joke it off like he might otherwise. “No, just me. And I’m not an Uchiha.”

The kid just nods, as if he knew that. Maybe he did. Silver isn’t exactly an Uchiha hair color.

“Why are you asking about Uchihas and the Kyuubi attack?” If someone has been talking…

The kid shrugs. “I remember things. Sometimes. A man with a sharingan eye and a different eye. A red haired woman and a blond man. A paintbrush. A really big fox. I don’t know what it means.”

Kakashi’s eye narrows. Photographic memory could be a possibility, but from birth? “This man with the red eye. Do you remember anything else about him?”

The child stills, surprise in his blue eyes. Then, slowly, he says, “The red eye was on the right side. And he had scars all down his right side. Like he’d been injured badly enough to die, then fixed up. And his other eye was purple, like it wasn’t his.” Then he pauses, the look in his eyes a little too _targeted_ to be mere remembrance. “He called the blond man ‘sensei’.”

Kakashi _moves_ , and the child looks startled to find a knife at his throat. “Who are you? And what have you done with Naruto?”

After a moment, in a careful tone, the child says, “That eye of yours. The red one. It can see through henges and stuff, right? Why don’t you use it?”

That’s… Okay, that’s fair. Kakashi pushes up his hitai-ate, feeling the immediate chakra drain from using his sharingan. All it shows him is a blue eyed, blond child. He smacks the kid, hard enough to dispel a kage bunshin, but the kid just yelps.

“What was that for!?”

“Just checking to make sure you aren’t a clone.” Kakashi says. “The good news is that you aren’t.”

“Funny, hah, hah.” Naruto says in an unimpressed tone.

“The bad news is that you’re even worse about acting like an adult than I was at your age. You should live a little first, kid.”

The kid gives him a flatly disbelieving look. “I am _not_ reading porn in public.”

Kakashi squawks and flails, tucking away his kunai. “I didn’t mean that! Can you even read yet? Just, y’know, go do kid things. Play or something.”

Naruto gives him a very dull look. “Play? Right. I’m sure anyone except irritated ANBU will play with me. Nice. Bye then.”

Annnd yup. That was definitely a shunshin. He winces belatedly as he realizes that Naruto probably _has_ no one to play with, given the general attitude of the villagers.

But that isn’t actually his problem. What _is_ his problem, is that Naruto’s description of a man at the scene of the Kyuubi’s attack sounds an awful lot like _Obito_ , if somehow he’d been rescued, healed, given a new eye and _gone utterly insane_.

He looks at the memorial, eyes tracing too-familiar names. “It wasn’t you, right?”

There is no answer. But somehow the silence doesn’t feel like agreement.

~

Tiny feet land in the middle of the arrest report Fugaku is reading. He looks up with an ominous expression, then blinks as he identifies the child as the Uzumaki jinchuuriki. His first reaction is to yell at the brat, but the intent expression gives him pause.

“Yes? May I help you?”

Something like wary surprise flits through the blue eyes. “Is there a one-eyed person with a sharingan in the village?”

Both of Fugaku’s brows raise sharply. This kid is apparently as smart as his first born to be speaking so clearly. Unusual. “Only Hatake Kakashi, to my knowledge.”

The kid blinks at him a few times, then shakes his head. “It wasn’t him. And it wasn’t that creepy bandages councilor who is always telling people to go spread whispers about how bad you Uchiha are.”

There are _so many_ questions Fugaku wants to ask after that statement, but there’s one very important one. “Why do you say it wasn’t Councilor Shimura?”

The kid sighs. “Because his sharingan is on the right side for it but he’s too old to be the guy in the mask.”

Fugaku’s eyes narrow. Kekkai genkai theft is no joke, and the kid has no reason to lie, but he doesn’t want to scare the kid either. “And what makes you say it wasn’t Hatake Kakashi?”

Amusement flits through the blue eyes. “Well, he was behind a barrier, wasn’t he? He seemed kind of upset about it. His sharingan is on the wrong side anyways. And he doesn’t have enough scars. His mask is wrong too.”

This brat had been speaking to Hatake about his sharingan? Fugaku doesn’t know what to think any more. “Are you sure Councilor Shimura has a sharingan?”

The kid wrinkles his nose, and oddly it looks more like a snarl than cute. “Yes. He’s got a weird arm that grows plants too.”

Fugaku’s eyes widen in outrage.

“Hey, mister Uchiha policeman?”

 _“What?_ ” The kid flinches slightly at his tone and Fugaku realizes belatedly that the child is younger than his own Sasuke. “Sorry, I’m not angry at _you_.”

“Oh. I was wondering. If I become a ninja, can I be a policeman too?”

“Why do you ask that?”

“Well, people say the Uchiha all want to be Madara, just sneakier, and that’s why only Uchiha get to be policemen. But _I_ think that you are just too lazy to find people smart enough to join who aren’t Uchihas, and you didn’t get a chance to ask Kakashi-san before he got his sharingan. So you should tell everyone that any kids who graduate before age nine can be policemen if they want.”

Fugaku doesn’t know which part of that he objects to more, but the kid might actually have a point. Still, a lot of kids graduated at age nine when the war was going on. “Age seven.”

For some reason, the kid looks amused by his answer. “I knew you were sulking over Kakashi-san getting away. Age eight.”

“Fine. Age eight. Now get out of my office. I have work to do.” Like calling an emergency session of the Clan heads for dealing with a kekkai genkai thief.

~

“Hey, Jiji! Can I be a ninja?” Copying Naruto’s loudness is hard, but he gives it a go. This old man is probably the one person most likely to notice something wrong.

The old man chuckles. “Yes, Naruto. In a few years you can join the ninja academy and when you graduate you can be a ninja.”

“No. Now! I’m going to be a policeman, so I gotta do it now!”

If anything, the old man looks more amused. “Naruto, only Uchihas can be policemen.”

“Maa, they’re just too lazy to work with stupid people. I bet they’ll let me in if I graduate at five like Kakashi-san.” Then he remembers and adds, “Dattebayo!”

The old man laughs. “Alright, Naruto. If the Uchihas agree to take on others in the police force, I’ll let you join the academy this year.”

“It’s a promise! Dattebayo!” _That stupid Uchiha better come through on that soon._ Staying in an orphanage with a bunch of tiny humans and too busy matrons who are perpetually fed up is not exactly on his list of life plans. They’re not _unkind_ , per se, but it’s obvious that they dislike him. Though perhaps only slightly more than they dislike the rest of the tiny humans making their lives difficult. They feed him, they make sure he has clothes and a tidy room, they even teach him things. They’re just severely overworked. But eventually one of them will notice that there’s something _off_ about him. That he knows things they’re trying to teach him, but don’t know things they’ve probably taught him before. That he’s not as loud and hasn’t been pulling pranks. _Wait…_ There’s no reason he can’t pull pranks. Watching humans flail and squirm and scream impotently is always amusing, after all, and he’s certainly seen Naruto pull enough off over the years.

“Is everything all right, Naruto? Have your caretakers been treating you well?”

Apparently his inner contemplations have taken too long. He’s so bad at this pretending to be a tiny human thing, it’s not even funny. “I want my own apartment, Jiji.”

Worry flits through the old man’s eyes and he takes a drag on his pipe, to buy time if Kurama is any judge. “You’re a bit young for that, Naruto.”

He pouts. “But the other kids are all _civilians_ and it’s _boring._ ” If he tries playing with civilian tiny humans and hits one, he might accidentally kill them and then his differences definitely _won’t_ be overlooked.

“Naruto…”

 _By the Sage!_ Why are humans so finicky? He needs an excuse. “And the weird bandages guy keeps taking away the interesting ones. I don’t like him.”

 _“Does he now?_ Very well, Naruto. You may move into an apartment. However, you’ll have an older roommate because you are still a bit young to be cooking your own meals and such.”

“Oh.” Kurama blinks at that, then remembers he’s supposed to be a tiny human kit, not a chakra construct in disguise. And the old man might actually have a point about the cooking. Kurama’s never cooked a day in his life. And Naruto’s idea of cooking largely consisted of three minute ramen and expired milk. It’s likely he’ll be stuck with someone annoying no matter what, and there really aren’t that many people in the village who aren’t automatically wary of him due to Namikaze’s _bright idea_ of sealing Kurama into Naruto, then stupidly dying. “The dog guy?”

For the first time the old man looks puzzled. “Dog guy?”

 _How is that not clear?_ Oh, right, the Inuzuka. “You know, the one with all the dogs that can go POOF! The little one talks. I like dogs!” That’s a lie. At best he tolerates dogs. But there’s no reason he can’t annoy Naruto’s future/past sensei for a few years, and he won’t die if Kurama accidentally forgets to moderate his strength for some reason. Considering the man avoids children like the plague and spars with Maito Gai a lot, he might not even _notice_ that Kurama’s strength is exceptional. Besides, _no one_ will suspect he’s _not_ Naruto if he’s living with someone with the sharingan, and he refuses to live with the bloody Uchihas just to avoid that suspicion. “And he reads porn like you do, Jiji!”

The old man chokes.

“Ah, yes. Hatake Kakashi. You know him?” the old man says after he recovers.

“Well, nooo. But I’ve _seen_ him. And I talked to him at the Memorial Stone one day, cuz he looked all sad and stuff.”

“Why did he come to mind when I said you’d be living with someone?”

 _Fussy humans._ “Cuz he likes vegetables.” Kurama says in a grim tone. He doesn’t actually dislike vegetables, he’s found. Unlike Naruto. Even when not in human form, he can eat, it’s just that he didn’t _need to_ so he never really experimented before. The orphanage seems to _love_ vegetables, though. And it would be very Naruto-like to connect liking vegetables with being a caretaker.

It works, because the old man laughs and doesn’t think to ask him _how_ he knows Hatake Kakashi likes vegetables. “I see. I’m not certain if Kakashi will be your roommate, Naruto, but I’ll have whoever is chosen pick you up this week from the orphanage.”

“Thanks, Jiji!” he exclaims and runs off before the old man can ask him more questions. At best, he’s put doubts in the old man’s head about that evil coward Shimura and he’ll get the dog brat as a roommate. At worst, he’s screwed himself over if the dog brat, the old man, and the bloody Uchiha policeman share what information he gave them and happen to mention where it came from.

~

Kakashi has no idea why he’s been called to the Hokage’s office, but assumes it’s a mission.

“I’ve heard that you’ve spoken with Uzumaki Naruto?”

He flinches slightly. “Yes. He spoke to me at the Memorial Stone recently.”

“Ah, yes. And what was your impression of the boy?”

 _Of the boy?_ “He takes after Minato sensei a lot in personality and has a stupidly good memory.”

The Hokage’s lips quirk. “I see. Then you won’t mind being his roommate, will you?”

Kakashi thinks about this, then makes a hand sign and says firmly, “Kai!”

The quirked lips curve into an actual smile. “Naruto has apparently decided to be a ninja and is bored playing with all the civilian kids at the orphanage and would like his own apartment. Also, I have reason to believe that someone may be continuing to recruit children from that orphanage. As I am a bit worried about Naruto’s safety, he requires a roommate. Since he has apparently observed you enough to take a liking to your summons and knows you like vegetables… Well. I’m sure you understand. Please make sure you pick him and his things up by the end of the week.”

What he understands is that he isn’t being given a choice because he’s one of the few people who the Hokage _knows_ won’t take Councilor Shimura’s words at face value. “Maa, you expect me to take care of a three year old in my apartment?”

As expected, it’s futile. The Hokage takes a puff on his pipe, and shrugs slightly. “You have other options available to you if that’s impractical.”

Kakashi sighs deeply. “Yes, Hokage.” _Pakkun is going to laugh himself sick at this. Him, in charge of a brat!_ It is a terrible, terrible thought. It’s probably a sign of the end of the world or something.

~

Kurama is only a little surprised when the dog brat actually shows up at the orphanage a week later. The dog brat was always dutiful when faced with direct orders. Though really, he half expected him to be a few days late just to maintain his persona as an Obito-before-Madara copycat. What he doesn’t expect is to be carted off to the old Hatake compound.

The inside _reeks_ of lightning and ash and the smell of new grown wood, and the feel of the Mokuton still lingers heavily enough that it’s almost palpable. Huh. Apparently the dog brat has done some reconstruction lately. Kurama suspects that the inside looks nothing like it did a week ago. Of course, he suspects this largely because one of the living room walls bears the symbol for lightning as if it has grown there. And all the furniture is so new that it looks like it’s never been touched. He wonders if Kakashi had some personal issues involving the old layout and décor or if the place had just been in that bad a state of disrepair. Possibly both, given the dog brat’s obsession with past mistakes and losing people.

He’s actually fine with all the new things, and even with the lingering feel of the Mokuton, since it’s not directed _at_ him. That is, until he tries to sleep on the new bed that night and realizes it _reeks_ of new and there is no trace of other scents or time to dim it. It occurs to him that Naruto never actually slept on a new bed, and _he_ certainly hasn’t. The seals that had trapped him in Mito and Kushina hadn’t given him the same sensory feedback as the one on Naruto. Which really isn’t the point. The pong of _new_ is making him nauseous. Literally.

Finally he gives up and crawls in the dog brat’s bed instead, ignoring the jounin’s startle, because at least here he can sleep _on_ the dog brat to mute the odor of _new_ if nothing else. Except _this_ bed isn’t new. It smells of years of Kakashi and various dog summons curled up on it. Traces of sweat and long dried blood, the scents long faded into a harmony that makes up the basic smells of the human and his companions. He snuggles up next to Kakashi’s ribs and immediately is pleased with the fading of nausea.

“Naruto?”

 _Oh, right_. This human has no knowledge of tiny human habits _fortunately_ but he still needs an explanation. Well. Maybe he can go one further. After all, Naruto cared deeply for this man, and Kushina had done her best to ignore him, disliking him based on his innate dignity and cold demeanor as a child. Either is plenty of reason, of course, but having _both_ makes him a little smug. He can honor his friend’s feelings and spite Kushina at the same time. Knowing Kakashi’s ears are sharp enough to catch it anyways, he half mumbles around a yawn, “Don’t like sleeping alone an’ the new bed smells bad, Kakashi-nii.”

Tension twangs through the dog brat’s body for a long moment at the honorific, then relaxes slowly. “Goodnight, pup.”

 _Kit_. Kurama thinks but does not say. Anyhow, he’s far too old to be a kit now, even if he’s trapped as a _tiny human_ for the foreseeable future. Sleeping is better than an entirely pointless argument, so he’ll let it lie.

~

Hiruzen drops his pipe with a clatter. “Excuse me, could you repeat that?”

Fugaku gives him a dry look, obviously understanding the shock directed at him by the rest of the room. “The Uchiha have gotten tired of being compared to Madara. As such, the Konoha police force has decided to open its doors to non-Uchiha graduates of the Academy if they should graduate by the age of eight. Obviously we have no way to effectively deny the baseless and _oddly persistent_ rumors that the Uchiha are at fault for the Kyuubi’s rampage, but we feel that it is time to integrate more with the village and feel that this is a good first step in letting those outside the clan see how much we value this village and consider it our home. However, as we prefer to not work with every idiot who thinks a badge equals power, we wish to restrict those who apply to those who are exceptional and unlikely to abuse the privilege.”

Tsume whines and thunks her head on the table. “Really? Do you know how angry Hana is going to be that your age limit on graduation excludes her?”

“That is not m-” Fugaku pauses and visibly rethinks his sentence. “If this works out well, the Uchiha would be pleased to consider others who have proved themselves to be exceptional.”

Hiruzen almost drops the pipe he’s just retrieved, then his lips quirk in self-directed amusement. “Very well. I approve this measure. And it seems that Uzumaki Naruto will begin schooling this year.”

“Hiruzen, you cannot mean-!”

He narrows his eyes at Homura. “This is not up for discussion. My decision has been made. On both issues. Shall we move on?”

There are various sputters from his thwarted councilors and narrowed eyes from several clan heads, but he doesn’t miss the contemplation on Shikaku’s face or the brief amusement that crosses Fugaku’s. _Interesting_. There was obviously a connection there. He’s _curious_ as to what Naruto said to Fugaku and vice a versa to come up with their respective reactions, but he’s not fool enough to mess with what works well.

Then Shikaku sits up and the hidden humor slides off Fugaku’s face, Tsume straightens and Hiashi’s shoulders tighten. Not just them, the other clan heads look grim and tense too. Except for Danzo, who is still staring at Hiruzen. And Kakashi, who slumps further. It _is_ strange that Kakashi is here today, though.

Fugaku clears his throat. “Unfortunately, Hokage, a civilian brought it to my attention that Konoha may have a serious case of double kekkai genkai theft on its hands.”

Hiruzen finds himself straightening involuntarily, as do his councilors. This is a _serious_ accusation and explains why the Clan heads are so tense and why Kakashi bothered attending. “Oh?”

“Yes. It is possible that the civilian is mistaken, however, I do not believe that we can safely or realistically overlook the chance that they are _not_ mistaken.”

“I agree. Go on.”

“The apparent thief is reported to have a sharingan and a mokuton arm in his possession. The description, pardon the accuracy, ‘the creepy bandages councilor’.”

 _No one misses_ the flinch of shock and fear that is quickly replaced by calculation on Danzo’s features.

Fugaku continues, “If you would be so kind as to remove your bandages enough to prove your innocence, Councilor Shimura?”

“No. I think not.” Danzo replies after a moment. “My scars are not for you to gloat over in pursuit of a petty revenge for thinking ill of your clan.”

“I’m afraid that we shall have to insist, Councilor Shimura.” Hiashi says coldly, his own kekkai genkai activated. “It is quite clear to my byakugan that your right eye and right arm have unusually strong chakra that does _not_ match your chakra properly. The chakra signatures are also disparate from each other and do, indeed, match kekkai genkai that you should not have.”

Hiruzen feels sick. Even old war-grown instincts can’t prod him to react as Danzo is cornered and lashes out, revealing not only a sharingan but an arm that bears the distinct Senju kekkai genkai along with nearly a dozen sharingan implanted into it. It’s grotesque, monstrous. Everyone else reacts, even Homura and Koharu, working together instinctively. Considering even Danzo’s own experience, it is a shockingly long battle against the combined might of Konoha’s Clan heads and two people with experience and skill equal to Danzo’s.

The end comes almost anticlimactically. Shikaku and Fugaku together manage to immobilize Danzo for a split second, there is a _twist_ of Uchiha/not Uchiha power and Danzo’s arm ends up across the room, unattached, and Inoichi uses that moment to destroy Danzo’s mind utterly. There is a single, split, timeless moment to take it in before the weapons and blows of the others strike home and all that is left is the mangled ruins of a corpse of a man who was once a hero.

Every man and woman _except him_ in the room, what little is left of it, bears multiple wounds. Fugaku and Kakashi have blood dripping down their faces from use of their mangekyos and Kakashi staggers abruptly, only to be caught by Shibi before the lanky youth can fall.

Hiruzen abruptly stands. The movement catches their attention, but he addresses himself to the ANBU who have stayed out of the fight, guarding him. “Get the worst injured to medics. Now.”

_He will not lose comrades to a traitor defeated._

He looks around and realizes that the Hokage Tower is a lost cause, the entire upper story will need to be rebuilt. The only reason the structure is still standing is because none of the combatants had _tried_ to bring it down. There is an ominous creak and shiver under their feet and he mutters a curse, remembering that Choza had taken part too.

“Evacuate everyone from the premises.” He tells the arriving, concerned jounin. For all that the battle had been longer by far than anyone could have predicted, its duration was mere minutes and the scope strangely limited. Barely time for the nearest jounin to notice and arrive.

Hiruzen blinks as it suddenly occurs to him that if no one thinks to rescue the paperwork he’ll have _so much less to do_ for a while. The contents of his office are already scattered over the street, along with the important records. Fugaku seems reasonably uninjured and together, still. “Fugaku, please oversee the salvaging of our important documents and make sure no one walks off with any in the meantime. Then bring down what doesn’t fall down in here and burn the remains so we don’t have to deal with picking apart the wreckage to rebuild.”

Fugaku gives him a startled glance. “Hai, Hokage.”

“I’ll stay and help hi-” Shikaku starts to offer.

Hiruzen cuts him off. “ _After_ a trip to the hospital where you get sufficient treatment for that gut wound, Shikaku.”

Shikaku hunches his shoulders, signifying acceptance, even as he whines, “But it’s _shallow._ ”

The normalcy of jounin whining about having to seek medical attention is steadying. Hiruzen takes a deep drag on his pipe then gets back to the business of being Hokage. He really needs to think about having an heir to pawn all the bothersome things off on again.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What Kurama thinks happened isn't precisely right, but he's not totally wrong either. I'm not really sure yet how to explain it though.  
> Kakashi is about 18 here.  
> Kurama is counting on screwing over Danzo in his encounter with Fugaku, the rest is mostly hints and serving as a lead-in to clue Fugaku in. It's his best chance of preventing the Uchiha massacre as far as he can tell, although his initial thought was to clue Fugaku in to who was behind the rumors and have him get one of his clan to kill the man and act as scapegoat. He's hoping Fugaku won't pursue why he's asking the questions, because if he happens to compare notes with Kakashi, Kurama's screwed instead.  
> Yes, Kakashi has _**issues**_ with his family home, given his dad killed himself there.  
>  To be fair, Kurama in no way expected the amount of drama that ensued over the revelation of Danzo's kekkai genkai theft. He forgot how...flamboyant Konoha politics _(such as Orochimaru's invasion)_ can get and before time travel happened Danzo stayed hidden quite a while longer.


	2. The Hazards of Putting Competent People in Charge, and Other Unexpected Things

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Paperwork, plans, conversations and the woes of writing.

It is not until Gai shows up looking for him that Kurama knows something is wrong. He felt the spikes of chakra and killing intent earlier, but thought little of it. This is a ninja village after all and the Hatake estate is close to several of the jounin training grounds. But one look at Gai’s grave face is enough to make him pale a little. If Kakashi is dead, they’re likely to stick him with Gai next and he’s not sure he wants to deal with that level of enthusiasm up close and personal. “Kakashi-nii?”

Fortunately, Gai does have a sense of time and place and doesn’t go off into his _Youthful_! spiel, just answers. “In the hospital with chakra exhaustion. He does have a number of wounds, but none of them are concerning.”

He would like to be the judge of that for himself, thank you very much. Humans are stupid about wounds. It’s why so many of them die despite knowing better. Well, probably knowing better. There’s always people like Naruto who wouldn’t know _‘knowing better’_ if it bit them. Kurama takes a deep breath. “Who was he fighting?”

Gai grimaces. “I am not completely sure, but the…body was wearing items that seemed to match Councilor Shimura’s normal garb.”

Kurama stares. And stares. Then finally says, “Someone should probably look for the kids. Can you take me to see Kakashi-nii?”

Gai frowns at him briefly, then nods. “Most certainly! I will get you to see my Eternal Rival safe and sound! Or I will run 100 laps around the village on my hands if I do not!”

He frowns at Gai, because that seems like a low number for the perpetually boisterous man. “I’m only worth 100 laps?”

A surprisingly wry smile results from this. “I’d make it 600, but if I do not get you there safe and sound, 100 laps is enough for my eternal rival to escape from the hospital. And as much as I enjoy a good challenge, I do not wish to be doing laps while Kakashi is angry enough to be trying to actually kill me.”

“Ah.” _Right_. _There had to have been a reason Kakashi put up with Gai for decades._ Kakashi is not one to tolerate imbeciles lightly despite his own penchant for porn and being late and see-through excuses.

~

“Kakashi-nii?”

The small voice makes him open his normal eye wearily and locate Naruto peering around Gai’s head from his perch on Gai’s shoulders. He has no idea how Gai knew that he’d taken in Naruto, or to go get him. “Hey, pup, what are you doing here?”

“Why were you fighting the creepy bandage councilor?”

He doesn’t miss the non-answer or the fact that Gai has apparently passed on gossip to a three year old. Still…Gai has stupidly good judgement of people despite his ostensible naivety. “Well, he was asked to prove his innocence when accused of theft and attacked instead. In a council meeting. Maa, I wouldn’t be surprised if the Hokage tower has collapsed by now. I think the top floor was entirely gone by the time we took him down. By the way, Naruto, Hokage-sama tells me that you’re going to the Academy this year. How did you get him to agree to that?”

Gai chuckles and sets Naruto on the bed. “I need to go help with cleanup. Recover quickly, rival.”

“Sure, sure.”

He ignores Gai’s departure to focus on Naruto, who looks happy now. “So, pup?”

“He didn’t think the Uchiha would let others into the police force. I told him they would. So he said I could join Academy like I wanted if they did.”

“I see. And you already knew they would…why?”

Naruto’s nose wrinkles. “I just told mister Uchiha policeman the truth; that people think they’re like Madara cuz they only want to work with Uchihas. They just don’t like stupid people, though. Dattebayo.” There is a faint flash of killing intent at the name _Madara_ , which is slightly puzzling, but who knows how children think of known traitors?

Kakashi chuckles. “I believe you, pup, but I love the level of _no enthusiasm_ you managed there. Who do you mean by ‘mister Uchiha policeman?’ There are a lot of Uchiha policemen.”

There is a suspicious pause, then Naruto says in a grumpy tone, “Itachi’s dad. The one people call ‘-sama’.”

He blinks. Then blinks again. “You told Fugaku Uchiha, the Uchiha Clan head, that people thought he was like Madara?”

“Nooo. That the _clan_ was acting like Madara.” Naruto crosses his arms. “And that he was pouty cuz you got the red eye before he could ask you to join the force.”

“Sharingan.” He corrects absently. _This is too funny!_ “And how did he react to that, pup?”

“He said that anyone who graduated by age eight can be on the police force. So I’m going to join. … Dattebayo!”

_So that’s why Fugaku wasn’t surprised at Naruto’s admission to the Academy._

Kakashi can’t help himself. The thought of Fugaku _sulking_ over not having Kakashi on the police force and the thought of Fugaku’s face at being compared to _Madara_ by a three year old is priceless. The Uchiha agreeing to let others into the police force _(after many, many arguments with the Council and Clan council and refusing to do that very thing)_ all because a 3yr old decided he wants to join pushes him right over into helpless giggles. Naruto’s miffed look at his laughter doesn’t help _at all_.

It is several hours later, nearly dark, and he’s less sulky about being trapped in the hospital than normal because Naruto is curled up at his side, fast asleep, when the boy tenses a couple moments before the door opens suddenly and Fugaku enters. The man spots Naruto nigh instantly and a hint of a smile curves his lips and Naruto relaxes back into undisturbed slumber. _Sensor?_ he wonders absently, regarding Fugaku curiously. It isn’t be unheard of in the Uzumaki line.

“Kakashi. You seem well.”

He grimaces. “Yes, for the most part, other than chakra exhaustion.”

“Yes, I imagine. The mangekyo uses more than a regular sharingan. I did not realize you had one, but given the circumstances I shouldn’t be surprised. You did well to use it as you did.”

“The….” Kakashi blinks a few times, then grimaces again. “I didn’t know. Um. About the mangekyo. I was just thinking how handy the Hiraishin sensei started to teach us would be so useful just then. And… I don’t really remember, actually.”

Fugaku’s brows rise expressively, but he doesn’t address the memory lapse. “The mangekyo is a powerful tool, rare even among the Uchiha, and highly coveted. I suggest that you do not tell others about it, for your own safety. At least until, if, you can use it freely.”

Kakashi just nods, not wanting to deal with another fight with the Uchiha elders, who will no doubt take it as grounds to be highly offended _again_ that he is allowed to keep Obito’s eye. _Fugaku_ is the reasonable one.

“It is also possible that using the mangekyo will induce blindness. So take care when practicing with it.” Fugaku continues in a slightly grim tone. Then his voice lightens. “The clan owes that boy of yours a debt for bringing the kekkai genkai theft to our attention. We would be pleased to have him on the force once he graduates.”

Something inside of Kakashi stills, because he knows, knew, Danzo better than most and being careless enough that a child had seen him is not…characteristic. He thinks of Naruto’s oddly intent gaze, his too-good recall of an event he should not remember, and incongruously of his complaints about the new bed’s smell, preferring to snuggle up to Kakashi instead. _Interesting._ He eye-smiles at Fugaku, “I’ll be sure to tell him.”

Fugaku averts his gaze slightly. “I appreciate it.”

“Enough to sneak in the latest Icha Icha for me? The nurses confiscated mine while I was out.”

“No.” Fugaku says, looking amused now and meeting his gaze again. “Mikoto would never let me hear the end of it.”

Kakashi snorts softly, then asks, “Tell me. If Obito had somehow miraculously survived and also had the mangekyo, how would you rate his against mine?”

“Kakashi…” Fugaku’s lips tighten, then he sighs. “He was an Uchiha. Theoretically his should be stronger than yours simply because it was his to begin with.”

“Mmn. I figured. And if someone else had it?”

“Unless they were a genius of your caliber, likely weaker.” Black eyes narrow on him. “You think someone managed to retrieve Obito’s eye…and use it against the village?”

“Maa, maa, I’m just speculating. We both know that Danzo’s accusations weren’t _totally_ unfounded. I suppose it depends on whose sharingan Danzo stole.”

“Good luck with that.” Fugaku says wryly. “Shibi’s bugs drained the arm of chakra before anyone noticed and there’s probably not enough left of him to do tests on the other one. Hopefully his records will be found and enlighten us.”

~

Hiruzen blanches as he sees the file cabinets and stacks of paper stacked around the small warehouse appropriated for storing the recovered documents and wonders what he was thinking when he asked an _Uchiha_ to be in charge of rescuing the important documents. _So much for his dreams of less paperwork for a time._ Uchihas are far too literal at the best of times and _of course_ Fugaku had his pride and wouldn’t allow a single document to be overlooked. To one side is a setup of tables where several Uchihas are busy sorting and piecing together ripped and torn documents with meticulous care, while others are busy copying damaged reports and documents onto clean replacements. At another table, several high rank jounin are occupied with some unfortunately familiar oversized scrolls that look to be half shredded, sharingans activated for detail differentiation as they pick through several piles of parchment scraps, slowly reconstructing the scrolls.

“Are those the forbidden scrolls?” he asks a bit faintly.

Fugaku nods. “Yes. Don’t worry, only those with clearance to learn kinjutsu are working on them, and once we have them reconstructed as far as possible, we’ll turn them over to you to verify the accuracy before we copy them onto fresh scrolls. We sent the clan children out searching for any stray pieces and paid any non-clan person who brought in a scrap, so we think we got most if not all of the surviving pieces.”

“That’s an ingenious solution.” Hiruzen compliments sincerely. Losing the kinjutsu scrolls would not have been a small loss. It’s enough to making swallowing down a rant about not burning unwanted paperwork _much_ easier.

“Thank you, Hokage-sama.” Fugaku looks rightfully proud, then frowns a little. “Maito Gai was asking something earlier about Danzo and finding children? He seemed a bit confused but rather insistent. I wasn’t aware that Danzo had children in his custody, but if they are missing, the Uchiha would be glad to send some of our members to assist in finding them. He said something about asking the Hyuuga to help look as well.”

Hiruzen bites back a curse and sighs deeply, admitting quietly, “I had meant to look into it more quietly, but I recently came across some information that led me to suppose that Danzo was taking orphans to rebuild his shadow corps. I had thought that disbanding them and absorbing them into the regular ranks had been sufficient, but apparently not. However, my choice of investigator was out of the village at the time, and only had a couple days to work on it before the council meeting happened, so I have no proof as of yet.”

The Uchiha Clan head gives him a thoughtful, curious look. “Root, was it?”

He grimaces, wondering how Fugaku got ahold of that information, then realizing that Danzo had probably used Hiruzen’s own authority to ‘recruit’ clan kids when the organization was still legal. “Yes. And Gai is correct. This is an urgent priority given Danzo’s demise. I will send runners to the other clans and have them and the jounin who can be spared coordinate with Shikaku. It will at least give him something to do other than bemoan being stuck in the hospital.”

Fugaku’s lips quirk. “He’s just avoiding Yoshino’s fussing anyways. That’s why you moved the jinchuuriki in with Kakashi?”

“Ninjas gossip worse than fishwives.” Hiruzen complains without heat. Probably half of Konoha knows about the arrangement by now, even though the boy has only been with Kakashi just over a week now.

The other man barks a laugh. “Well, they do seem to get along well. I got the impression that the only reason Kakashi hadn’t escaped the hospital yet is because the boy was sleeping next to him.”

He lets his lips curl into a doting smile. “Naruto is an engaging child. I think having him around will be good for Kakashi.”

“I agree. And no one will dispute the choice of Kakashi as his caretaker, now that he isn’t half suicidal with grief.”

 _Yes_ , it had been unfortunate that he hadn’t been able to before, given Jiraiya’s and Tsunade’s absence from the village, but no responsible person would have put a newborn in the care of a deeply grieving 14yr old. Not to mention the risks of associating the child with Minato had his student suddenly turned up with a newborn in the wake of the fox’s rampage. That Naruto was a jinchuuriki and an Uzumaki was enough to make him a target of sorts, but Iwa and possibly others would have done a lot to kill the Yellow Flash’s son. Though Kami only knows that it was a miracle that so few people associated him with Kushina and Minato, given the Uzumaki last name and how close Kushina had been to giving birth were both public knowledge. Granted, the mix of anger, fear and grief pervading the village following the fox’s rampage wasn’t the sort of thing conducive to rational deductive reasoning, and Kushina had been going by Namikaze for several years by then. That other villages had not guessed outright was, of course, more understandable, given that _of course_ Konoha would take in any Uzumaki survivors. No one had ever _specified_ publically that Kushina was the last in Konoha, after all. Failing their allies had been such a great shame that no one in Konoha even wanted to speak of it.

Fugaku’s declaration _is_ a bit of a surprise, given past events and arguments, though. “You wouldn’t happen to have anything to do with Naruto’s sudden determination to be a ninja, would you?”

“Hn.” The smirk says it all. “I think he’ll be a good investigator.”

~

Kurama realizes belatedly that by going to Academy _now_ none of his classmates will be familiar. _At all_. And frankly, he’s not sure he can stand being totally surrounded by a bunch of tiny humans twice his size whom he has no familiarity with.

It is…a _problem_.

Sasuke and Sakura are out, along with most of Naruto’s year mates, because while they’re decently smart, he’s fairly sure that they aren’t _mature_ enough to take on the Academy and succeed at age 3. Even Lee is out, given how naturally average he is. After some thought, that leaves…Neji, Shikamaru, and Tenten as possibilities.

Reluctantly he decides that snaring Shikamaru into his plans this early will draw unwanted attention from Shikaku who is, if not smarter than his son, definitely equal to him. Kurama doesn’t need the Jounin Commander’s direct attention.

He smirks. That doesn’t mean he can’t put the idea in the tiny human’s head. It might be fun to see a not-lazy Shikamaru as a kit. Not that he’ll get to see it, he supposes, unless the Nara kit really does join the police force. Not for anything is he going to spend more than two years in the blasted Academy, one if he can help it.

~

A nurse walks in and looks pleasantly surprised to see Kakashi. “Ah, Hatake-san, I see you are still with us for once.”

He gives her a flat look. All the nurses and medics are sadists as far as he’s concerned and the hospital tops his list of least favorite not-enemy-territory places to spend time in. Only his charge, still peacefully curled up by his side, has kept him here this long. But he’s not an idiot. Chakra exhaustion is serious, but he can recover just as well at home in his own bed. It’s not like he hasn’t had it before.

Come to think of it, the pup should be waking soon and will probably want to eat and hospital fare is just punishment for getting injured anyways, nothing that should be inflicted on an innocent child. He waits until her back is turned to drop out the window, Naruto in his arms.

He lands easily, then stumbles slightly as the small use of chakra makes him dizzy. The movement, or possibly the chill morning air startles Naruto awake. There’s a split second of killing intent and heavy chakra spike that disappears as the child gets his bearings, his hands gripping Kakashi’s shirt tightly. “Kakashi-nii? What?”

“Just going home, pup, sorry for startling you.”

Naruto yawns and looks around. “Oh.”

The nurse leans out the window and yells, “Hatake Kakashi, get back in here! You haven’t been cleared to leave yet!”

“Running away, Kakashi-nii?” Naruto sounds as amused as he looks.

“Maa, a ninja should always have an exit strategy for untenable situations.” Kakashi agrees amiably.

“The nurse?”

“The food. They don’t serve any eggplant. It’s a crime.”

Naruto makes a face. “I don’t know why you like that stuff. It’s bitter.”

“Bitters in your diet are good for you.”

“Yuck! No thanks!”

“It’s important to have a balanced diet, Naruto. How else will you grow?”

“I eat my vegetables! I don’t need to eat _those_ to grow! Besides, if I eat them, there’ll be less for you, Kakashi-nii.”

The kid has a point. He pretends to consider for a moment. “Maa, that’s true. Good argument, pup.”

~

Finding Shikamaru isn’t hard. He prefers cloud watching to interacting with people and there’s only so many places which are good for that where little kids are allowed.

“What are you doing?”

“Cloud watching.” Shikamaru replies, barely glancing at him.

Kurama sits down next to him and lies down. “Why?”

“They make interesting shapes and just do whatever they want. No one makes them do anything.”

Kurama laughs a little, knowing how much that answer would puzzle Naruto. Either that or inspire him to one of his illogical leaps of understanding. “So you’re napping with your eyes open? I like naps.”

“Not really.” Shikamaru sounds faintly miffed.

He lets silence fall between them for a couple minutes. “Did you know that non-Uchihas can join the police force now? So I’m joining the Academy this year.”

“Troublesome.”

“I bet they’d love to have a Nara.”

Shikamaru sighs. “I can’t. Not this year. I don’t have enough chakra yet.”

Kurama blinks at this, mostly because it’s something he’s never considered. “Oh. I have a lot.”

“Besides, if I start this year, Ino and Choji won’t be able to keep up.”

“Fair.” Kurama admits, resisting the urge to ruffle his ~~fur~~ hair. “A loyal man will go far in life.”

“Sounds bothersome. I don’t want to grow up.”

“Then you’d have to live with your mom forever.” Naruto had only met the sharp tongued woman once as far as Kurama knows. She’d been insistent enough that it had woken Kurama from his nap. It had made an _impression_ , enough to explain the Nara’s general assertion that women were ‘troublesome’.

Apparently it’s the right thing to say, because Shikamaru makes a noise like he’s been gut-stabbed. Pleased with his work, Kurama takes a nap, leaving the human kit to cloud watch in peace.

He wakes up to a paw on his face and Pakkun’s voice scolding him about worrying Kakashi. The Nara kit is long gone, so he follows the dog home without protest.

~

Neji is easy. The Hyuuga compound isn’t hard to get into, and while they have _those eyes_ it’s a simple fact that they don’t use them unless they have a _reason_ to look. In Kurama’s opinion the real surprise isn’t that the Kumo ninja got in to kidnap Hinata, but that he was careless enough to get noticed before escaping.

He finds Neji in a garden, practicing basic katas with a depressed face, but he can feel the hurt and rage seething off of him. The Hyuuga are inordinately lucky that Neji is too straightforward to just poison the main family, he thinks. Granted, Naruto and Kurama were like that too, but Kurama knows the value of a good tool once he’s seen it in action. There’s no way the Academy curriculum entirely skips over the fact that poisons are a ninja tool to be feared. Even Naruto knew what a poison was and how to emergency treat it without Sakura explaining it out to him on that mission to Wave. Which, honestly, had woken up Kurama a little given that Naruto had somehow managed to avoid any poison except food poisoning by way of eating spoiled food prior to that. Hm. Come to think of it, he wonders what team is going to get stuck with that mission this time around? Thoughts for a later time, though. That’s still years in the future.

But really, Neji is easy. Though it does take him a few minutes to notice Kurama perched on a branch above him.

“Who are you?”

“It’s rude to ask someone’s name without giving your own.”

“You’re trespassing.”

“Yes.” Kurama agrees, mostly to get a reaction.

There is silence until Neji’s annoyance spikes abruptly. “I’m Hyuuga Neji, who are you?”

“Uzumaki Naruto. I’m going to Academy this year.”

“You can’t. You’re too young.”

Kurama nods. “I am, but I’m going anyway. It’s already approved. I’m going to graduate early and join the police force.”

Neji scowls. “You’re not an Uchiha.”

“I’m not.”

“So you can’t join.”

“Sure I can. Didn’t you know that fate is made to be changed? Anyone who graduates from the Academy by age 8 can join the police force now. You should join too. You’d have a lot more autonomy than you do now.”

“They wouldn’t take a Hyuuga.”

“There wasn’t anything excluding Hyuugas.”

“Well, my uncle wouldn’t let me.”

“I bet he would, just to rub it in the Uchihas’ faces.”

It is obvious that this possibility is new to the kit, because he stops and considers it. “What’s autonomy?”

Kurama grins at him just to be infuriating. “Maa, maa, do I look like a dictionary to you? Look it up. Nice meeting you, Hyuuga Neji.”

He gives a little wave and shunshins away. Unsurprisingly, no other Hyuuga even notices him. How Konoha continues to _survive_ with clans this complacent, he’ll never know, but it certainly makes life easier for _him_.

~

Tenten is a tough sell. First she _ignores_ him, as in completely ignores his existence even when he’s right in front of her talking at her. Until he steals the kunai she’s sharpening. Then she dismisses him as a ‘little kid’, which is frankly insulting given that he’s older than her and the shop owner combined by a _large_ margin, and demands her weapon back _right now_ in an ominous tone. He remembers just in time that he’s currently a tiny human kit and bites back his indignation over her dismissal and squeaky human kit attempt at intimidation.

“If you listen to me, I’ll give it back.”

Her eyes narrow. “Fine. Make it quick.”

Okay then. “If you graduate from the Academy by age eight you can join the police force.”

“Not interested. That would be boring. I can’t exactly test out my weapons on _citizens_ , now can I?”

He has no answer for that, so he gives her back her kunai.

Kurama tries again a few days later.

“If you joined the police force, you could train with the Uchiha.”

Tenten looks tempted for a moment, then shakes her head. “I might get an Uchiha jounin sensei anyways, and I don’t want to do genjutsu.”

He tries again the next day.

“You wouldn’t have to stay in the police force forever, and it would look good on your resume.”

“What’s a resume?”

“Job history used to apply for jobs.” Where _had_ he picked that term up, come to think of it? Oh, right, on one of the trips to the capital.

She just rolls her eyes. “Ninjas all work for the Hokage anyways, so why would I need that?”

Next time he tries the long term planning route.

“You could just _qualify_ for the police force and use it as a good semi-retirement plan, in case you got serious injuries on a mission.”

Tenten stares at him like he’s crazy. “I’m _four_. And ninjas are more likely to _die_ on missions than come home cripples.”

Okay, she has a point. He gives back her shuriken.

His last attempt is weak. Sure, she’s a girl, but she’s the levelheaded type, too logical to fall for provocation, he’s sure. Still…

She eyes him jadedly. “Going to try to convince me to join the police force again?”

He shakes his head. “No. I just wanted to apologize.”

“You stole my senbon to…apologize?”

“Yep!” He beams at her then makes a serious face. “Because I thought about it and you’re right. The Uchiha are really old fashioned and think all kunoichi should be barefoot and pregnant, so they probably wouldn’t take you anyways. They have really high standards and they’d probably think you couldn’t live up to them because you’re a girl. So I’m sorry for wasting your time.”

Tenten’s eyes do a good impression of catching on fire, offense written large across her little face. “Girls are just as good as boys! _I’ll show them!_ ”

Kurama has the distinct impression that a lot of Uchiha men are going to regret those words in the future. Couldn’t happen to a more deserving lot, though, so he’s all for it. He hands back her senbon then leaves in an unhurried manner, making no sudden movements to catch her attention. All in all, he’d prefer to not be included in her aborning vendetta. He never has understood the human valuation of capabilities by gender to begin with, and considering ‘women’ includes people like Tsunade they really ought to know better.

~

Academy is both easier and harder than expected. Math is not new to him. The Sage had taught them the basics, and that obnoxious woman Mito had practically _thought_ in numbers to the point that her inner mental space was often composed of whatever mathematical formulas she was turning over in her head. Kurama can certainly do more advanced math than the Academy teaches. Likewise reading and sealing are not new to him. The Sage had taught them the basics of those too, for whatever reason. And if Mito’s inner mental space was _math_ , Kushina’s had been _fuinjutsu_. At the very least, he can read seals better than probably any human alive, or at least the ones Kushina had been interested in and Kurama had bothered staying awake to look at. Jutsu and ninjutsu are not new either. He spent enough time awake with Naruto to know how those work, though some take more practice than others.

But _writing_ …

Well, Kurama’s never had a reason to write in his entire existence. Writing is _extremely difficult_.

Fortunately, Iruka is one of his teachers _(which surprises him, he hadn’t realized that he’d been teaching that long)_ and sets him extra writing exercises when it becomes obvious that he’s _atrocious_ at it. Mizuki is also conspicuously absent as a teacher, which is puzzling, but Kurama is grateful not to have to deal with his passive aggressive sabotage this time around. He lacks Naruto’s naivety and tolerance for maltreatment. Well, _he_ doesn’t really remember Mizuki beyond a brief flash of a white haired man when Naruto’s killing intent had prompted him to open an eye in curiosity, but he remembers a rather drunken Iruka talking about it with Naruto years later.

Maybe he should do something about that…but, eh, Iruka had survived well enough the first time around and it’s not like he knows enough about Mizuki’s doings to easily trip him up. Iruka will just have to survive Mizuki this time around too.

Neji and Tenten both manage to get in, which doesn’t surprise him, though they do have more trouble with the curriculum than he does. What does surprise him, but probably shouldn’t, is that Tenten promptly browbeats Neji into being her minion. He’s pretty sure Neji is more afraid of Tenten at this point than he is of his own Clan head. After all, Tenten isn’t above using him as target practice, while he’s mostly ignored at home. Kurama thinks it’s _hilarious_ , but he does finally take pity on Neji enough to suggest gloves to protect his hands. Mostly because he doesn’t want the Hyuuga to take notice of Neji’s injuries enough to come complain to the school.

One thing he does completely agree with Naruto’s stance on is the Caged Bird seal. It’s an abomination. Any control seal is, really. Such as the one used on Rin, he’d heard about that from his brother, though he has no way to tell Kakashi that so he doesn’t know if the man actually knows about that one. Or the one on Obito. _That_ had been a nasty revelation come too late to save far too many. Unfortunately, he doesn’t know anything about control seals. It hadn’t been something that interested Kushina.

He could ask Jiraiya, but Jiraiya’s professionally paranoid despite his loud personality and would likely react with suspicion. Not to mention that Jiraiya, as far as he knows, entirely avoided Konoha until Naruto was twelve the first time around. That leaves…Kakashi. It’s not something a lot of folks know. Kakashi doesn’t specialize in seals and really only uses his knowledge to set up home security traps around his apartment, specifically around his Icha Icha collection, his father’s tanto, and the family summoning contract scroll. But Kakashi was Minato Namikaze’s apprentice and as a result he knows more about seals than anyone besides Jiraiya _and he’s a genius_. It had been that knowledge and genius that had kept the few survivors alive towards the end of the war, though in the end it hadn’t been enough to save Kakashi himself. Winning had come at a bitter cost that had left a bad taste even in Kurama’s mouth and he _still_ had no love for humans as a race.

Unfortunately, Kakashi is professionally paranoid _too_ and he does it _better_ than Jiraiya, but it’s not like Kurama is spoiled for options.

“Kakashi-nii, will you teach me about seals to remove control seals?”

Kakashi freezes and stares at him in silence for a long time. Kurama stares back. Finally, Kakashi asks, “Why?”

Kurama winces, because he was hoping to avoid this question, but at least he has a better answer than _‘I want to save your moronic teammate from himself because Naruto’s not around to talk him into submission, but I can’t do that with Madara pulling his strings’_ or _‘I’d rather not see a repeat of what happened to your teammate Rin’_. “One of my classmates has a slavemark.”

“‘Slavemark’.” Kakashi says the word as if he’s tasting its texture. “Describe this ‘slavemark’ to me.”

“It looks like a manji with a bar on either side. On his forehead.”

“You know, Naruto, that’s actually a protective measure the Hyuuga take to prevent their eyes from being stolen.” Kakashi doesn’t exactly sound convinced, he notes.

“If it was that the leaders would wear it too, cuz their eyes are more valuable.” Kurama says with all the scorn a three-almost-four year old’s voice can muster.

Kakashi makes a noncommittal, thoughtful sound.

“So, will you teach me?”

“Leaving aside exactly _how_ you know that I know seal work, not until your hiragana improves _significantly_. One errant brushstroke can make a seal fizzle or change its function entirely.”

“Oh.” Okay, that’s fair. His handwriting has _improved_ , but only from atrocious to simply terrible.

“Speaking of which, _how_ did you know?”

“Uh.” He grasps at straws. Why hadn’t he expected _this_ question? “I’ve seen you use seals to protect your porn that I haven’t seen used anywhere else. And everyone says you’re a genius! Even more than Itachi-san!”

To his surprise, Kakashi flushes a little and looks away. “I-I see.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We'll just say Iruka is older than canon here, so Kurama doesn't have a 14yr old teacher.  
> Yes, Kakashi definitely picked up on the implications there. Kurama was asleep, though, so he didn't notice.


	3. Bits and Pieces

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aftermath, summer, summons, and a new school year begins.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Going back in time here a little, to show the aftermath of rescuing the kids.  
> Gai, like Kakashi, is about 18 here.

Gai sits with his head low, hands hanging over the ends of his knees, feeling sick.

Rescuing the children in Danzo’s care had not been easy. There had been adults working with Danzo, people no one had suspected, and at their orders the children had fought. Despite their best efforts after finding the hidden base, there had been casualties. Shibi was in intensive care, suffering from some rare insect poison and it was uncertain if he would live. Anko was unconscious after tangling with one of the younger children. Quite a number of those who participated in the hunt were suffering from serious wounds due to ambushes, one of the Uchiha was dead and another hamstrung so badly it would be a miracle if he ever walked again. One of the Hyuuga was hanging on the edge of life and death, while another Hyuuga was blinded permanently.

And the children!

Some of the ‘children’ were as old as Gai himself, while others were as young as three. The Yamanaka and Aburame had found members of their own clans among them, as had several other clans, but the majority were unknown orphans, most of whom didn’t even remember their own names, but went by code names. Four had died in the fighting, over half are hospitalized for injuries, some life threatening, and most of the injured ones are restrained so they can’t try to escape. And many of the others are in T&I, where attempts at deprogramming will be carried out. He doesn’t want to think about what will happen to the ones who treatment fails on. And one of the lightly injured children has the beginnings of a serious illness that has gone untreated.

He can’t get it out of his head, and thinking about it makes him want to puke.

Someone lays a partly gloved hand on the back of his neck and he looks up to see his Eternal Rival standing there, for once his book nowhere in sight. “Kakashi,” he says weakly.

“Maa, maa, landing yourself in a hospital bed by passing out is something I would do, not you. Come along, I’ve got some extra eggplant stew you can have.”

Gai knows this is a serious concession, because Kakashi’s love for eggplant rivals his love of Jiraiya’s books and he doesn’t make such offers lightly. He’s not sure he should accept, though. “But the children-!”

“Later. You can do nothing to help them in your current state. Gai, you helped rescue them and that was something I could not help with.” An unreadable expression flashes across his face briefly. “Naruto and Tenzo are not letting me out of the house unless I promise not to use chakra, since I’m still recovering.”

Kakashi’s mournful tone at the latter makes him laugh rustily. “Very well, rival, I will come eat your stew.”

~

He had noticed it before, vaguely, the last time he’d come here, but for some reason Kakashi’s house has a tree growing out of the top. Gai is not sure if he should point it out or not. Kakashi has obviously done some extensive remodeling recently, given that the house’s upper two stories have wood shingles that are part of the building rather than the white painted walls of the lower story. He knows of Tenzo’s abilities, of course, and that the younger man looks up to Kakashi. But the tree…

Yep. He will say nothing, because he doesn’t want to make his rival uncomfortable, particularly when he is being so generous. People do not realize that Kakashi is more sensitive about his quirks than he pretends to be.

~

Mikoto takes one look at the boys, the older one nominally restrained by one wrist, the other sitting by his bed, clutching his free hand, and says, “We’re adopting them.”

It’s obvious the boys have no intention of trying to go elsewhere without permission.

Fugaku sighs. “Mikoto, that’s not-”

“Take a good look at the younger one, Fugaku.” She’s fairly sure the kid _isn’t_ an Uchiha, but he sure resembles one.

He looks. And sighs again, this time in resignation. “Alright. Uchihas take care of their own, and I’m sure the Hokage won’t allow them to be separated.”

Mikoto hides her amusement. Trust a man to leap to the obvious conclusion. And her boys could use some other children to interact with. Sasuke’s a little too convinced his big brother is perfect, and Itachi could stand to spread his overprotectiveness around a bit. Not to mention that Fugaku could use a reason to not push the boys quite so hard. Particularly given how enamored he’s been of Kushina’s prodigy of a son recently. Maybe she can convince Sandaime-sama to adopt out some of the kids to the more useless members of her clan who have far too much time on their hands and waste it on politics that do no one any good.

~

The stew is, well, youthfully eggplant-y, he supposes. He will never, until his dying day, admit that he thinks eggplant is an extremely boring food. And after Kakashi refused to talk to him for a month straight after he tried to spice up one of his eggplant dishes with plenty of hot peppers, he knows better than to try to make it more interesting. Kakashi sulks masterfully, and one more healthfully youthful meal is not worth the silent treatment or having Kakashi refuse to eat anything that has passed through his hands for the next six months.

He does notice that Naruto is served a version of stew with no eggplant in it, which the child seems happy enough with, so it’s probably not intended as punishment on Kakashi’s part. Gai honestly thought there would be plenty left over and had been intending to offer to finish it off for the boy, but Naruto eats all three bowls of it with no signs that it’s too much for him.

After the meal, he ends up with one of Kakashi’s porn books in his hands, pretending to read while he tries to not focus on the text and instead makes up a more kid appropriate story for Naruto. It’s total nonsense, of course, bits and pieces of stories he barely recalls, mixed with tales he’s heard of other lands and his own experiences, along with bits of jokes that actually made sense to him. Naruto seems to like it, at least, if his wide smile is anything to go by.

Eventually, the boy starts yawning and Kakashi scoops him up. “Time for bed, pup. You’re welcome to stay the night, Gai. You can use Naruto’s bed.”

Again, it is not a common offer on Kakashi’s part and speaks loudly of Kakashi’s concern for his condition. “Oh, that is- I would not like to put Naruto out of his bed.”

Naruto yawns and buries his face against Kakashi’s shoulder.

Kakashi just eye smiles. “He refuses to use it, so you’re not putting him out. I don’t think he likes ‘new bed’ smell. If I put him in it, he just crawls in mine anyways. And Tenzo has his…” Kakashi gestures vaguely at the ceiling. “Aerie.”

Gai wonders if that means the tree growing on the roof and if Kakashi is implying that Tenzo sleeps in it. “I see. In that case, I would be honored to take you up on your most youthful offer, rival.”

In truth, he does not want to be alone in his apartment tonight and is glad of the offer. With utmost care, he lays Kakashi’s book on a side table and gets up to follow him to the bedroom indicated. He’s wearier than he thought, bones and muscles aching, and he makes a mental note to up his endurance training as he peels off his clothes to slide between the clean covers. Sleep claims him seconds after his head hits the pillow, and he thinks he dreams of Kakashi’s deep chuckle and the room going darker around him some unmeasured time later.

~

Another thing Kurama had failed to account for was that when his writing improved from mostly illegible to nominally legible approximately four months in, it became obvious that the classwork was below his level and he was tested and moved up. Well, _that part_ he’d accounted for, but not the fact that moving up meant switching to another class entirely and he no longer had Neji and Tenten as classmates.

The only good part he can see about being stuck alone in a classroom of vaguely hostile 11yr olds _(besides the obvious that it means he gets to graduate faster)_ is that Daikoku sensei likes geniuses enough to overcome his mild distaste at Naruto’s jinchuuriki status. Which means that there’s no petty attempts to sabotage him. Although Kurama doesn’t remember Naruto having negative feelings towards the man, so it’s possible that he hadn’t bothered with it the first time around either. It also means that Daikoku sensei will stop and make sure he understands the subject matter before moving on in his teaching. Which the other kids seem to resent less than Kurama expected, to be honest. Possibly because of the age difference. Or possibly because it helps some of _them_ too, to get extra explanation on some subjects. Some of the final year work is even mildly interesting.

The kids in his new class are reluctant to spar with him at first, understandable given that he’s less than half the size of most of them, but they quickly learn that he hits hard and after the third time someone goes down with bruises in unmentionable places they start taking him seriously. Kurama, for his part, is glad that he finally has opponents familiar enough with their own chakra use that he’s less likely to break them on accident. Though he dutifully learns the Academy style katas, most of what Kurama has to draw on is Naruto’s well developed brawler/trickster style, but he remembers bits of Kushina’s vicious style and Mito’s ruthless, precision hits, too.

He’s nowhere near as good as he remembers any of them being, but then, he’s only four and small for his age and he can’t use Naruto’s favorite jutsus without raising a lot of questions he doesn’t want to answer. As a pre-genin, he’s not supposed to _know_ any jutsus beyond kawarimi and bunshin. So far, he’s counting himself as lucky that no one has thought to question his use of shunshin and tree walking.

In the end, though, Daikoku sensei is as meticulous about his students meeting all the requirements as Iruka was the first time around. Kurama is sent home with a huge stack of writing practices and some supplementary history reading _(which, really? He lived through that!),_ because apparently humans come up with their own versions of history, which largely have to do with people they consider important, economic squabbles and treaties and alliances and one year is not quite enough to memorize everything required. Despite the fact that no one _else_ is given summer homework, Kurama is grateful because it means that he has a chance to graduate at the end of first quarter next school year instead of having to sit through the entire year again.

~

Summer is...well, basically writing practice when Kakashi isn’t dragging him out to practice katas and throwing, and correcting his mistakes. From what he knows of Kakashi, doing such basic training on a personalized basis is atypical, but Kurama isn’t foolish enough to turn down the helpful advice of such a skilled jounin when he’s being generous enough to share it.

About two thirds of the way through, Kakashi starts giving him basic seal parts to practice copying, which he takes as a sign that his handwriting has improved to decently legible at the very least. He knows it’s a long ways from practicing actual seals, but it definitely helps him learn what the basic parts _do_. Some of it he knows, of course, and he knows what a lot of them do when put together in specific configurations, but it’s like learning the alphabet to go with the words and phrases he’s memorized.

It is a little over a week before Academy starts up again when Kakashi surprises him.

“Naruto, would you like to sign my summoning contract?”

Kurama whips around and stares at him blankly for a moment. From what he knows, it’s extremely rare to offer such contracts to someone outside a family that holds it and Kakashi certainly hadn’t offered it to anyone the last time around, at least as far as he knows, which admittedly is limited. If someone _had_ been offered it, they’d either died or refused because there certainly hadn’t been other dog summoners around. Which means that refusing is a really, _really_ bad idea, because not only will he hurt Kakashi’s feelings, refusing would make him extremely suspicious. However, while he doesn’t _hate_ dogs _(in his natural form, even the largest Inuzuka nin dogs are as small as mice are to regular foxes, annoyances at worst)_ and can tolerate them just fine, _like hell_ he’s going to get stuck with dog summons when he has a chance to get foxes.

He beams at Kakashi. “You’re going to let me try summoning? Thanks, Kakashi-nii!”

Then, before Kakashi can take him to the scroll, he bites his thumb, says the words that he knows so well _(Naruto did it often enough that Kurama could probably summon in his sleep at this point)_ , and slams his hand down on the dirt of the Hatake training yard. He pours in a hefty dollop of his chakra because he wants the tailed foxes, not the pipe foxes, and disappears to the sight of Kakashi’s startled and slightly horrified expression.

Kurama stumbles and nearly lands on his face because he was expecting mountainous terrain, not the flat, packed dirt of a temple courtyard. Wherever he is, it isn’t the fox realm, the Hollow Mountains, and that…that could be a problem.

“Why am I here?” he mutters, then looks up and freezes with a squeak. At first glance, one might be forgiven for mistaking the creature as a fox, if one tailed foxes came in taller-than-Kakashi size, or even a lion, if lions came in dark orange _(Kurama’s never seen a lion, but he’s pretty sure they aren’t orange)_ , but it _smells_ like dog.

“Kyuubi no Kitsune.” It-he says in a surprisingly neutral tone.

“Um. I would appreciate it if you did not eat me?”

The huge dog, whose paws come up to Kurama’s knee, snorts. “And have an irritable chakra construct stuck running around our realm indefinitely? Hardly. I am curious to see the great Kyuubi no Kitsune wearing a human body, however.”

Kurama clenches a fist, unable to not react to the memory. “It was…an accident. With time-travel. The body is…a friend’s.”

“I see. As to your question, temple Fu dogs’ most significant trait is that we guard against evil. You must be currently aligned against evil to bring you to us, and a great evil it must be for the Kyuubi no Kitsune to time travel and risk fighting it in a frail human body.”

“Yes. I…” He grimaces. “Nine out of ten humans in the world died in that future, along with many summons and natural creatures. We won with myself and my siblings aiding the humans at the end, but a victory like that… It did not sit well.”

There is a heavy silence as the massive dog contemplates that. “Indeed. Very well, I will allow you to sign our contract.”

Kurama’s eyes widen, but he’s not fool enough to refuse, even though it means that he’s _still_ stuck with dog summons. He’d rather not get mauled by a pissy boss summons and sent back without a contract, even if being eaten is off the board.

“Norbu, fetch the scroll, please.” He says to a smaller black Fu dog Kurama hadn’t noticed, too distracted by the boss summons. And by smaller, he means its shoulder is about level with Kakashi’s waist. As it trots off, he notices that there’s actually quite a few Fu dogs scattered around the courtyard, watching him curiously. Most of them are orange or black, though there are white ones in the mix. A few of the white ones look almost golden as the light hits their fur _just so_. Norbu’s return with the large scroll distracts him. The dearth of signatures surprises him a bit. It seems the Fu dogs have only had three summoners before him, which means either they’re relatively unknown as a summons or extremely picky. Or both. “What’s your name?”

He blinks. “Kurama…Uzumaki, I guess. This body is half-Uzumaki, at least.”

“Hm. It will do. Sign your name in blood and leave a handprint, and we will keep the scroll here so no prying eyes can see your secret. I presume it’s a secret?”

Kurama nods as he signs, quite happy with that arrangement.

“My name is Wangdu. Tashi! Sonam!” Two white puppies bound over, a bit clumsy still, the smaller one coming up to Kurama’s chest and the other of a height with him. “Tashi and Sonam will be your main summons.”

Wangdu picks up the smaller puppy _(who is really about the same size as Kurama’s tiny human kit form)_ by the nape and shoves him into Kurama’s arms, and reverses the summons, so as he staggers back and then falls on his ass he lands in the Hatake training yard with his arms full of white fur and a pink tongue swiping over his face.

“Wolf?” Kakashi ventures sometime later, after Kurama manages to get himself untangled. Whatever reaction Kakashi had at his return, he missed, but the faux casual tone sounds more relieved than not.

The puppy gives him an affronted look.

“Temple Fu dog.” Kurama corrects before the misunderstanding can turn into a squabble.

Kakashi’s visible eye widens. “That’s…rare. Congratulations, Naruto.”

Kurama takes that to mean that Kakashi has never heard of someone having the Fu dog contract before, and makes a mental note to make sure Tashi and the others call him ‘Naruto’ while in the human realm.

“I am Tashi.” The puppy says with dignity. Meaning the bigger, female one is Sonam.

“This is Kakashi-nii.” He puts in brightly. “He has dog summons too!”

“Does not.”

“Does too.”

“Does not! You’re the only one! We only do one at a time.”

Kakashi chuckles. “Naruto means regular dog summons, not Fu dog summons. And he’s right, I do.”

Tashi gives him a long look, then puts his nose in the air, and tells Kurama, “I guess he’s alright for a nii-san, then.”

“I’m so glad you approve.” Kakashi tells him in a dust dry tone.

~

A few hours Kakashi insists that he dismiss Tashi, citing chakra drain being unhealthy for young children. After Tashi assures him that there will be no problems with summoning him again at any time, Kurama complies even though he knows only the actual summoning part requires chakra on his part. He’s pretty sure Kakashi just wants to avoid having long white fur in his bedding.

Kakashi practically hovers over him for the next couple days before admitting that he’s absolutely fine and allowing him to practice summoning again. With supervision.

“Remember, Naruto, try using about half the amount of chakra you did last time. You don’t need that much unless you’re trying for a boss summons. I know you have a lot of chakra for your age, but wasting chakra like that can be deadly for several reasons, particularly at your age.”

“Um. Okay, Kakashi-nii.” _Right, tiny human kit body_. He still doesn’t know all the effects of being effectively human, and he does remember Naruto exhausting his chakra a number of times when his chakra coils were at this stage. Best to be cautious, he supposes. To be quite honest, Kurama can’t remember how much chakra he used because the shock of ending up somewhere he had not intended had knocked it clean out of his head, but he can _try_.

The first attempt…fails.

“You can use more than that.” Kakashi says drily. “I don’t think you could summon a newborn pup with that little.”

And his main summons are definitely not newborns, even if they are still puppies. So…significantly more. He sighs and tries again, this time pushing a heavy dollop of chakra into the summons, and looks at Kakashi, “Is this-”

He is _not_ expecting the world to dissolve around him or to land on a polished stone floor. “-right?”

Kurama yelps as he promptly loses his balance and goes sprawling. When he picks himself up and looks up, it is to see a very large, regal looking white cat with blue-grey fur on its face, ears, paws and tail watching him intently. And by _very large_ , he means that it’s slightly smaller than Wangdu but still tall enough that its shoulder is probably about even with Kakashi’s pointy hair. It-Her eyes are blue. And looking at him like he might prove a tasty treat if he doesn’t meet her expectations.

If she’s _not_ thinking about eating him, he’s certainly not going to put the idea in her head by asking her not to. “Um. I beg your pardon. I didn’t intend to end up here. I already have a contract.”

She flicks her ears slightly. “We are aware. Our allies, the temple Fu dogs, spoke to us about you. They are aware that we have been as long without a summoner as they, and believe that the evil you would fight against is great enough that you could use our assistance as well. We are the Siamese temple cats of Mt. Thai.”

“I…would certainly not turn it down.” He says slowly. “With my friend…gone, I could use all the help I can get and there will likely be situations I could use assistance in where dogs are simply not sneaky enough to help. I was actually aiming for the Hollow Mountains initially. But I wasn’t aware that cats and dogs got along.”

She cat smiles at him, which is slightly terrifying. “How wise of you to neglect mentioning that to Wangdu. As for getting along, why not? We both guard against evil, and we have been allies since our first respective summoners, who were twins. Since we are allies, we discuss our summoners with each other so that we do not end up with contracts that require us to fight each other. Our respective second and third summoners were a married couple, and cousins who were dear to each other. Now tell me, who are you fighting against?”

Kurama has to pause and think about that. “Currently, a half-insane man who wears a dead man’s slave seal and the allies he has begun to gather, along with a creature that seems to be half plant, half man and is the manifestation of the will of the mother of the Sage of Six Paths. To be frank, my intent is to sabotage their goals as much as possible, because if they succeed, between them Madara, the dead man restored to life, and the maybe-goddess Kaguya destroyed most of the humans before they were defeated. And with my friend’s loss, I am uncertain that we could prevail even that much, should it come to that again.”

She regards him in silence for long enough that it startles him when she twists sharply and bats a large scroll at him. A fairly small cat, only up to his knee, chases it out and pounces on it, slowing before it can knock him over, only to go tumbling off to the side when momentum proves too much. “I am Hathai, and I will allow you to sign your name to our contract, Kyuubi no Kitsune. Naturally we will keep it here, so humans cannot snoop and discover that you are more than you seem.”

He nods, glad to not have to explain that, and signs without fuss before standing back. Kurama experiences a moment of déjà vu when the smaller cat, who has recovered and come back, is picked up and dropped in his arms.

“This is Niran. He and Kiet will be your main summons. You will meet Kiet at a later time.” And a moment later, he is standing back in the Hatake training yard with his arms full of cat.

Kakashi takes one look at him and the anxious tension in his posture melts into amusement. “Only you, Naruto, could manage to sign contracts with both dogs _and_ cats.”

Niran takes a moment to wiggle up onto Kurama’s shoulder and drape himself around his neck, a process that makes him stagger a little to keep his balance at the weight shifts, then hisses in his ear, “Who is that?”

Kurama twitches at a voice so close. “This is my Kakashi-nii. He, um, has a pack of dog summons. Kakashi-nii, this is Niran.”

The two stare at each other until Kakashi dips his head slightly and says in a gracious tone, “Nice to meet you, Niran.”

“Is it common for humans to carry another soul?”

Kakashi blinks, posture going wary. “I don’t understand your meaning.”

“Your eye, the hidden one, it carries traces of the chakra of another living soul.”

“Ah. No.” Kakashi’s hand comes up as if to reflexively cover the eye before folding and dropping back to his side part way through the motion. “No, it is not common at all. Most cases of such are theft, but in my case, it was a gift from a dying teammate on the same mission I was blinded on that side by a kunai slash.”

“Hm.” Niran sounds thoughtful. “I hope your pack is polite.”

“Maa, I don’t know if I’d call them polite, but they won’t attack you.”

Niran makes an expression that Kurama can’t quite see, but makes Kakashi twitch, and stretches his paws, popping his claws out theatrically. “Good, good. Blood should not be shed between allies.”

Kakashi eye smiles. “I can tell this is the start of a beautiful friendship.”

~

The meeting between Niran and the pack is both memorable for its lack of diplomacy and anticlimactic for its lack of hostility. Staring at Urushi, Shiba, Bisuke, Akino, and Guruko, the cat says, “I didn’t realize dogs came with short fur.” Then, switching his gaze to Bull, Uhei, and Pakkun. “I’ve never seen dogs shave _all_ of their fur before, not even their great warriors, but I suppose customs vary. Are you sure that puppy is old enough to be away from his mother?”

Luckily, the dogs are too taken aback to take offense.

“I am full grown.” Pakkun informs him, rightly guessing who the supposed ‘puppy’ is. “And our fur is naturally quite short. We don’t shave it. I use a special shampoo to keep it shiny and soft and minty fresh.”

And just like that, Niran hops down to inspect him more closely and they’re talking about care products with all the verve of teenage girls. Kurama and Kakashi exchange looks and mutually decide to pretend they are _not_ seeing a blue-eyed cat patting Pakkun curiously, cooing over how cute he is, and asking about human made hair care and paw care products in a fascinated tone, while Pakkun answers with sincerity and pride, preening at the attention. Kakashi goes back to his book and Kurama decides it’s time for target practice.

~

Tashi and Niran decide they are accompanying Kurama to Academy to determine if it’s a ‘safe learning environment’ _(whatever that means, given it’s a school for human kits who are going to be ninjas)_ , and entirely ignore Kakashi’s single, halfhearted protest on the matter.

He has an entire new set of classmates, of course, several of them more hostile than his previous class, but surprisingly he still has Daikoku sensei as his homeroom teacher. Which might explain the hostility, since an entire class getting a new homeroom teacher isn’t common and they probably blame him for it. Then again, it might just be that these ones have parents who are more vocal than common about Naruto being a monster. Being called a monster does not amuse Kurama, but the notion that those who call him that would piss themselves and run away sobbing in fear if they knew he was _actually_ the ‘monster’ they feared does amuse him a bit. Mostly he just ignores them, which drives a lot of them right up the wall. Which is amusing in its own right.

It’s a little hard to ignore, though, when one of his new classmates, a boy Kurama can’t be bothered to remember his name if he ever knew it, comes up and says loudly in a mocking, uppity tone, “Stole one of the Inuzuka nin dogs, did you?”

Kurama gives him a blank stare, because honestly? Does he look stupid? How would one even do that? To begin with, stealing one of the Inuzuka puppies would result in the Inuzuka _and_ their nin dogs being out for blood, presuming that one survived trying in the first place. Second, Tashi is clearly too large to be an Inuzuka pup of stealable age and is clearly unrestrained and here of his own will. And third, coming to school with a stolen Inuzuka pup is just _asking_ for an incident of epic proportions. Does this human think the Inuzuka wouldn’t immediately recognize one of their own dogs?

 _Clan law_ protects the Inuzuka’s rights to their dogs. As well as the dogs’ rights to choose their own partner should they not be partnered early on or if they lost theirs. _(Kakashi had lazily explained this to him at some point.)_ But the chances of an unpartnered Inuzuka nin dog choosing someone outside the clan is less than one in a hundred. The last one had been three generations ago and had ended up marrying into the clan anyway.

Niran slides down off his neck onto the desk and gives his classmate a narrow eyed look before asking politely, “Can I claw his eyes out for stupidity?”

At the same time, Tashi asks in a plaintive tone, “Who are the Inuzuka?”

Tashi’s remark catches the attention of a girl with Inuzuka clan markings whose name he doesn’t know _(…he should probably bother learning his new classmates names, shouldn’t he?)_ and she elbows the rude boy aside to crouch down in front of Tashi.

“No, don’t scratch his eyes out. He’ll need them as a ninja.” Kurama tells Niran.

“He’s too stupid to be a ninja.” Niran objects. “Stupid ninjas are dead ninjas, so he doesn’t need them anyways.”

The boy blanches satisfactorily, but Kurama is distracted when the Inuzuka girl says almost reverently, “By Kami, did Hatake-san let you sign his summons contract? This boy is _gorgeous!_ ”

“I am Tashi.” Tashi tells her, obviously pleased with the praise.

“Um.” Kurama has no idea how to explain or even if he should. “Tashi, this is an Inuzuka. Most of them have dogs with them, but you can tell by the face markings.”

Niran leans over and thwacks the girl on top of her head with a light brown paw. “Of course it’s not the same contract! Even if you’ve never seen a Fu dog before, you should at least recognize our allies don’t let just anyone sign their contract.”

The girl rubs her head ruefully and stares at Niran. “A ninneko? My dad told me about meeting one once, but I never thought I’d see one. I didn’t think they were allied with anyone.”

The cat stares at her, and finally says, “The temple cats of Mt. Thai are hardly common nin nekos. Our contract is just as exclusive as our allies’ is.”

Her eyes widen and she looks between Niran and Tashi for a moment before looking directly at Kurama and reaching out to ruffle his hair, making him yelp in surprise. “You’ve got _two_ summoning contracts? I’m officially jealous. Mom won’t let me have a puppy until I can water walk, which means after graduation, since they don’t teach that in Academy. Inuzuka Aya, nice to meet you, Naruto-kun.”

Kurama isn’t sure why she’s petting _him_ without asking permission, but at least she has the sense to not try touching his summons without permission, even though Tashi would clearly welcome it. It’s not that he dislikes being touched, per se, but he’s not used to anyone except Kakashi and occasionally Gai or Tenzo doing so and he is _wary_ of unexpected touch, given how much hostility those in the village direct at Naruto. He considers her for a moment. Aya isn’t hostile and, much rarer, she actually seems to like him a bit. Having an Inuzuka on his side rather than neutral would be a foolish thing to pass up.

“I could probably teach you to tree walk. It’s not that much different than water walking.” He offers. Though he remembers Naruto doing both and has no doubt that he can do both, he has had no reason to try water walking yet and probably shouldn’t try teaching it before he’s sure he can demonstrate without falling in a few times first.

Aya’s eyes light up. “You know how to do that already? Why would you teach me, though?”

 _Clan kid, right_. Clan kids understand about bartering favors. Another thought strikes Kurama just then, though. In the future that was, though he knows Naruto never personally met all Konoha ninjas and Kurama paid attention to fewer of them, _he doesn’t remember Aya being there._ Nor among the endless lists of the fallen after Kaguya was sealed away again, this time permanently. It is possible that he simply overlooked the name or forgot it, but an equally likely explanation is simply that she didn’t survive that long to begin with.

Kurama shrugs. “Why not? Maybe you’ll survive long enough to become a chunin if I do. And it’s not like Konoha is overflowing with people who wouldn’t rather I just drop dead.”

“ _Oohhh!_ You want a friend! I didn’t realize, but you must have trouble with that being as far ahead as you are, huh? Of course I’ll be your friend! You can call me Aya-nee.” Her tone has _‘you’re too cute for words’_ written all over it.

Friends…he _wants_ an ally, but friends will work. He’s not entirely sure how he feels about voluntarily making friends with a second human _(that bastard Minato does **not**_ _count!)_ , but he’s not _upset_ by the idea. And hopefully Kakashi’s feelings won’t be hurt by his use of Aya’s choice of honorifics. So far, the old man and Kakashi are the only humans he’s used the more familial honorifics with, and he’s not sure how the genius will take there being a third, but he doesn’t want to alienate Aya, either.

“Okay. Aya-nee.” He gives her a small smile, because he’s thinking, not because he’s stooping to pretending to be shy.

The bell rings and she stands to go to her seat. “After school then, Naruto-chan!”

Naruto- _chan!?_ By the Sage! Kakashi is never going to let him live this down, he’s sure.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Wangdu](https://vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/cryptidz/images/2/26/Urban_Fu_Dog.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20131005190951)  
>  This artist image of a Fu dog inspired my desire to torment Kurama with dogs and cats as summons, and is more or less what Wangdu looks like.  
>  ~~More notes later. Brain is comatose, atm.~~  
>  Wangdu-male boss summon of the Fu dogs.  
> Norbu-male Fu dog.  
> Tashi-male Fu dog, one of two main Fu summons.  
> Sonam-female Fu dog, one of two main Fu summons.  
> Hathai-female boss summon of the Siamese cats.  
> Niran-male Siamese cat, one of two main Siamese summons.  
> Kiet-male Siamese cat, one of two main Siamese summons.  
> So, yeah, the Fu dogs have random Tibetan names picked off a list somewhere, and the Siamese cats have random Thai names picked off a list somewhere.
> 
> Yes, Tenzo kind of grew a tree with rooms inside on top of Kakashi's roof. Not exactly sure why or how, but now he lives there. His 'rent' consists of taking care of Naruto|Kurama while Kakashi is out on missions. If he can't then Gai does.  
> I'm not sure who will get the various 'children'. While Mikoto's idea has merit, I think it might be too tempting for some of them to teach the kids to believe exactly like they do. Probably a number of them will be parceled out to smaller ninja families rather than clans. And some of them, particularly the older ones, well, they'll need professional help for a while before they can be trusted in the general population even under supervision.
> 
> Aya was the result of a random thought/idea and getting that scene written was _awful_. It took as long as the rest of the chapter, all on its own. And then I got to the end of the scene and realized, _"I just made a character I'm going to have to write now. Can I take it back?"_ (Lazy author. haha) But Kurama could use some friends. He can't exist in a vacuum where the only folks he willingly interacts with are a few adults long term. So. Aya.  
>  I was trying to fit all the school scenes in this chapter, but it didn't quite work, so at least a couple more left to go. _(I hit around 5k on my Word docs and the stupid things start getting fidgety, which makes me twitch, which really is not conducive to writing.)_  
>  Not sure how much Kakashi will tease Kurama about 'Naruto-chan', given he's pretty convinced at this point that he _is_ the Kyuubi, just not malicious for some reason. The summons offer was kind of like...a last test? If Kurama had refused or had come back with a more neutral type summons, Kakashi probably would have confronted him on it. Or at least have stayed a lot more wary afterwards.


	4. Missing papers, Murdered trees, Assumptions, Kunai, and Sharingan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just a series of events, not all related, up until the day Kurama graduates from Academy officially.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not edited. Feel free to point out mistakes or things that should be included in the notes.  
> Some cute fanart of Aya by JustSugary: [Aya](http://prettyboysylveon.tumblr.com/post/176495138802/lil-fanart-doodles-of-aya-inuzuka-from-the-fanfic)

Kurama hands in his stack of writing practice assignments and history work from the summer break to Daikoku sensei when prompted, secure in the knowledge that his writing has improved immensely, even if it’s a bit clumsy still. He bites down on a sigh when the teacher promptly pages through them, making the rest of the class wait. It’s not _surprising_ , but he could do without the extra attention.

“Naruto, what is this?” Daikoku holds up a paper curiously.

He most certainly does _not_ yelp in dismay. Anyone who says so is a filthy liar having auditory hallucinations.

“Um. That’s something Kakashi-nii-san had me doing. Can I have it back? And any others in there? I didn’t realize they’d gotten mixed together.” In point of fact, he had the stacks neatly separated by at least a foot.  Kakashi’s summons know better, and his own wouldn’t do something like that without telling him, so he’s left to suspect Tenzo, who has odd moments of clumsiness as the most plausible culprit. Unfortunately, yelling at Tenzo would be like kicking a newborn kit. He wonders if there’s such a thing as an anti-clumsy ward. If so, it’s _definitely_ the first one he’s learning to use.

Of course he _knows_ various seals, but knowing and using are two different things. And considering how _the last time_ using a seal went, well, there’s no harm in being thorough.

“Of course, Naruto. I wouldn’t want you to get in trouble with Hatake-san.” Daikoku says in a kind tone, then leafs through the stack, pulling out five other pages in the process. “Hm. This seems to be all, but you seem to be missing a few assignments. Perhaps you should check for them at home.”

“I will, Daikoku-sensei.” Kurama says with a wince and goes up to retrieve pages of basic seal parts, noting that for some reason they’re all the originals, in Kakashi’s hand, not his own copies. That seems a little odd, because he had them each with their respective sets of copies, not all together. Almost a li-

Daikoku sensei starts class, interrupting his thought as he hurriedly slides into his seat to avoid more attention. There’s nothing new, of course, and he’s tempted to pull a Nara and sleep through class, but he forces himself to pay attention so that the teacher doesn’t decide he needs to sit through the entire year instead of graduating at the end of first quarter. Naras get away with a disproportionate amount of sleeping in class, or at least Shikamaru did the first time around, if Naruto’s mild complaints about it were anything to go by. If he gets held back for an extra two quarters, Kakashi will be _thrilled_ and of no help at all with protesting the decision. The man definitely has a hang-up about genin being graduated from Academy so young. Something about _young minds and giving kits a chance to grow up a little first_ he suspects, but Kurama’s mind is anything but young, so it doesn’t truly apply. Not that Kurama can _tell_ him that, of course.

Death by way of an angsty, one-sharingan, paranoid jounin-level ninja is very much not in his plans. … Though come to think on it, that describes Obito too. Still. Very much _not_ in his plans for the near future. And _yes_ , one measly human lifetime counts as the ‘near future’.

~

Kurama shunshins home during lunch break to see put away the seal practices safely and see if he can find the missing assignments for school. Both Niran and Tashi have opted to stay at the Academy, he thinks because Tashi wants to spend time with Aya and Niran wants to observe some more. Frankly, he doesn’t mind, because it’s faster alone for something so simple.

Except it turns out to not be so simple. He can’t find the assignments anywhere and lunch break is almost over. Giving up for the moment, he’s on his way out the door when he notices Kakashi sitting at the table. “Kakashi-nii! Have you seen any of my school assignments? I’m missing a-”

He breaks off as Kakashi lifts a very thin stack of papers and eye smiles at him.

“Saa, I was wondering when you’d ask.”

Kurama gives him a suspicious look. He’d almost forgotten Kakashi’s penchant for amiably annoying people. “Kakashi-nii, did you-?”

“Maa, maa, pup. We’re ninjas. Always be certain you have the correct documents with you.”

 _He had!_ Kurama’s suspicion turns to faint betrayal. “I had them all sorted out!”

“And so you will for important meetings. But what if someone hires a ninja to steal some of them and they swap some out at the last moment? _Always_ double check.” Kakashi’s tone is both gentle and very serious.

It’s enough to make Kurama pause and decide that this must be the human’s clumsy attempt at being paternal. He says slowly, “If I promise to always double check, will you give me back my assignments?”

A faint look of surprise crosses the little visible of Kakashi’s face. “Yes.”

Kurama doesn’t like making promises. Promises are something to keep. But this one…well, he can probably keep this one without things going terribly wrong. “I promise to always double check that I have the correct documents.” He pauses, then adds because you never quite know with ninjas, “Contingent on you giving back my school assignments, of course.”

Kakashi’s eye smile manages to convey both amusement and pride, and Kurama gets the distinct impression that he’s saved himself from a future, unwanted lesson with the precaution. _Humans_.

~

Kurama quickly learns two things about Aya. First, she gets along with Kakashi _splendidly_. And second, he has never seen anyone with worse chakra control, and that includes _Naruto_ before how to use chakra was explained properly to him. And Naruto _never_ quite got the hang of the lowest powered jutsus even after he became an accomplished ninja.

After the fifth time she’s landed flat on her back, and the tree creaks ominously, he has a pretty good idea why her mother made the stipulation about water walking. He suspects that if she ever made it past her genin test the first time around it wasn’t long before she was sent back to civilian life. Kurama eyes the listing tree leerily. Even Naruto hadn’t done more than blow some bark off when he misjudged. Aya, however, is leaving jagged divots, not because she has an unusual amount of chakra, but because she seems to be incapable of circulating it smoothly.

Aya gets up again, a determined look on her face.

“Aya-nee, stop!”

She pauses. “What? Why, Naruto-chan?”

“Cuz you broke the tree and if you try walking up it again, it will fall on you.”

She takes a good look at the tree and looks a little sickened and a little enthralled. “I didn’t know you could break trees doing tree walking wrong. It’s kind of cool? But, uh, will we get in trouble?”

“Um.” Kurama grimaces. “No. Not really. And I don’t think so? But maybe we should start you on water walking instead? At least we won’t die because a tree fell on us while practicing.”

“What do you mean ‘no’?”

“I mean it isn’t supposed to be possible to murder a tree while trying to walk on it!” he snaps, because by the Sage, dense human kits are bad enough when one isn’t required to answer them!

Aya gives him a wide-eyed look, then sits down laughing. “Y-y-you sound l-like an old m-man!”

Kurama hmphs and crosses his arms. It’s not as if he isn’t older than the _village_. “So?”

His response just makes her laugh harder.

Annoyed, he looks at the tree again and notices that it has shifted its tilt to a less dangerous direction and decides it’s as good a time as any to give it a shove so it doesn’t come down on some unsuspecting soul at a later time. One chakra enhanced shove is all it takes. The tree is only a third the size of the ones in the Forest of Death _(which is an amusing conceit of a name)_ but it is not a particularly small tree, and its fall shakes the ground. Noisily.

Kakashi shows up a moment later, takes in Aya’s unabated laughter and Kurama’s miffed expression and scolds in a mild tone, “You’re not supposed to break the trees, Naruto.”

“I didn’t!”

“No?” he sounds vastly amused.

“Aya-nee did! I just pushed it over so it wouldn’t fall on someone. Kakashi-nii, how does someone even murder a tree on accident like that? Her chakra is all spiky and weird.” It’s not like Kurama has ever delved much into human affinities and how they deal with them. His is different, after all, even with Naruto’s wind affinity affecting this body.

“Saa, that’s a good question. Spiky you say?” Kakashi’s brow raises briefly.

“Yes! Dattebayo! See?” He points at the smaller divots under the point where the tree’s trunk gave up the battle and broke off. As he does, Aya manages to get her howls of laughter down to just giggles.

Kakashi examines the marks with a curious expression, then looks thoughtful. “Aya-chan? Has your elemental affinity ever been tested?”

“Uh…no? But I think our clan is generally Earth?”

“Hm. I think I’ll pick up some chakra paper and next time you come over we can test your affinity.”

Her eyes widen. “What about Naruto-chan? We should test his too! And what’s yours, Kakashi-san?”

Kurama sighs. “Mine’s wind.” Then bites his tongue at the sharp look Kakashi gives him. _Right, he shouldn’t know that yet._

“Maa, maa, Naruto already knows his, and mine is Lightning. But some people have more than one affinity, and others learn to use more than their own affinity.”

“Which ones can you use, Kakashi-san?”

Kakashi looks uncomfortable for a moment. “Saa, I can use all five. It would be hard to copy jutsus if I couldn’t.”

Aya blinks, looking puzzled. “Copy?”

Kakashi looks like he’s baffled at needing to explain, so Kurama cuts through any misleading explanation he can come up with by saying, “He has a sharingan. And a reputation for being able to copy any jutsu with it.”

“ _That’s so cool!_ Do you think I could learn to use all the elements too, Kakashi-san?”

Kurama feels the urge to bang his head against the broken tree. It feels so awkward to hear ‘Kakashi-san’ coming out of Aya’s mouth and it’s beginning to nag at him. Being a tiny human kit is so frustrating.

“Saa, that depends on how hard you work at it, Aya-chan. But first you need to know your affinity and master it before you can properly use a different element beyond basic jutsus.”

“I’ll work really, really hard and be as awesome as you!”

Again he resists the urge to bang his head against the broken tree. Or maybe another tree, just for variety. He hasn’t missed his human’s faint flush at the praise and admiration.

He foresees seeing a lot more of Aya than planned if she’s decided to make _Kakashi_ her role model. Because Kakashi actually _likes_ Aya, and that means he might well be willing to give her extra instruction. Which isn’t precisely _bad_ , because it would be kind of a half-alliance of the Hatake clan with the Inuzukas and give his own alliance/friendship with Aya more weight with the adult Inuzukas. Just…a bit inconvenient. Aya has no idea what she’s letting herself in for. Kurama knows _(but can’t explain to her)_ that Kakashi is ex-ANBU, and in the future that was, he would have been Kage level if not for the severe chakra drain of the sharingan. Or if he’d lived long enough to build up reserves that could handle the drain better. _There’s a reason old ninjas are often the most dangerous humans around,_ though not necessarily the most dangerous to be around. Psychos like Danzo aside, of course.

More importantly, Kakashi’s version of laid back is because he expects his students to train as hard as he does and his subordinates to put in at least half as much effort. And the fact that Kakashi’s _Eternal Rival_ is _Maito Gai_ should be enough to warn anyone off. No one, not even a genius of Kakashi’s caliber, stays on par with someone like Gai without putting an equal amount of effort, not even if he makes it look easy. Maybe especially because he can make it look easy. But he’s not sure how to convey that to an eleven year old human kit in a fashion that won’t make her just see it as a better challenge…though, actually, why should he bother discouraging her? Extremely competent allies are more useful than moderately competent ones.

“ _Are_ you going to teach her, Kakashi-nii?”

“Saa, maybe a little. I can help her with the basics a bit.”

 _Riiiight._ He knows hedging when he hears it. “So she’s going to be practicing drawing seal components with me?”

Kakashi gives him a brief startled look then eye smiles obnoxiously. “That’s an _excellent_ idea, Naruto. It might do you some good to have someone closer to your level to keep up with.”

 _Like hell!_ There’s no way he’s letting a human kit surpass him, even if she is currently more than twice his physical age. And has better handwriting.

“Maa, maa, Naruto, you’re letting your killing intent get away from you.” Kakashi chides, somehow eye smiling even more obnoxiously.

Kurama twitches and glances at Aya, who is staring at him in surprise.

“Do you not want Kakashi-san to teach me seals, Naruto-chan?” she sounds worried.

“That’s not it. Kakashi-nii is being mean cuz my writing is bad. And if you want to be as amazing as nii-san, you need to learn seals.” Kurama admits gruffly. Well, as gruffly as a tiny human kit of four almost five years can manage. He hides a sigh as it mostly manages to put an _‘aww, you’re so cute’_ look on Aya’s face. “Let’s go practice water walking so you don’t murder anymore trees on accident.”

~

Kakashi fishes them out of what started out as a shallow stream and now resembles a giant puddle with a water source or maybe a baby mud pond hours later, not long before dark. Naruto is less soaked and sitting on top of the thin mud, but that’s only relative to Aya who resembled a bedraggled mud statue and is sitting waist deep, too exhausted from her last attempt to move for the moment.

He holds them out at arm’s length, eyeing their state with resignation, then hoists them over a shoulder apiece and shunshins home before dumping them in the yard and fetching a bucket. No way is he letting them into the house in that state. Naruto is first, since he’s the most likely to recover first and object, but the pup just huffs and pushes his sodden hair out of his face after Kakashi dumps well water over him. Aya-chan requires three buckets and probably could use a fourth and fifth, but he relents because she’s starting to shiver hard. Probably between her abysmal chakra control and practicing for hours she’s drained her stores dangerously and being doused in water for those hours likely is dropping her core temperature now that her chakra isn’t compensating.

Inuzukas tend to get tetchy if one brings their pups home sick. So he drags the pair of them into the house and stuffs them into warm baths, and sends Pakkun with a message for the girl’s parents to come fetch her. With a set of dry clothing.

Unfortunately, it takes them longer to arrive than he’d hoped, and he ends up fishing Aya-chan out of the tub before she can drown in her sleep, and stuffing her into the smallest set of not-Naruto clothing around, which happens to be a too-small set of formal clothing he still has from a couple years ago for some reason, with the Hatake symbol blazoned on it boldly. Then tucking her into Naruto’s bed ( _the one that offends his sensitive fox-nose with its new smell_ ) and flipping the light off, since it’s more than obvious that she’s not going to wake up without being deliberately woken and maybe not even then. Since she’s likely on the verge of chakra exhaustion, he has no plans to wake her anyhow.

Pakkun finally comes back a bit later, carrying a small bag and looking disgusted. He spits out the bag. “That woman said she could stay the night and you could send her to school in the morning. She sent _these_ , underwear, but said the rest will be fine.”

Kakashi gathers that Pakkun had found conversing with Aya’s mother to be a trying event. He’s finding it trying second hand so he commiserates. “Great. Does she even understand that getting those clothes clean and dry would take hours and I could be sent on a mission without warning, so I can’t afford to stay up?”

Pakkun snorts. “I don’t think she cares.”

He sighs beleaguredly. “Well, at least she’ll have clean underwear to go under her Hatake formalwear.”

“Formalwear?” Pakkun looks surprised.

“I don’t have anything smaller. It’s an outgrown set I forgot about.” He explains morosely. In general he takes care of such things so as to have less clutter in his life. At the moment he’s feeling torn between being glad he still has them for Aya’s sake and useless at having missed the minor detail for so long.

“Ah. Well, she can keep them then, so you won’t have to look at them.” The pug offers sympathetically. “Maybe it will even get the point across.”

 _Right. They should be so lucky._ Getting an Inuzuka to change their mind was like cutting down a tree with a pair of tooth pliers.

~

Leaving the bag hanging on the doorknob of Naruto’s room, Kakashi goes back to his own room. Night is still encroaching outside but the moon is full, so there’s no need to turn on the light. He pauses a moment before changing for bed, unsurprised to find the pup already there, looking pathetically small curled up under the covers.

Then he stirs. “Aya-nee?”

It’s adorable, really, the concern. His pup has found a friend he likes well enough to call sister and let her call him ‘Naruto-chan’, something he’d dearly love to tease him about and use himself, but he’s uncertain exactly how much teasing of that sort the pup can tolerate before he’ll snap. And as much affection as he has for him, as much as he understands that the pup means no harm and will tolerate much, he still remembers the Kyuubi’s rampage and its aftermath far too well. He still sees evidence of it here and there in the village, whole sections of buildings newer that they should be. Kakashi wants no part of ever being the one to loose that temper on the village again. This time there would be no Minato to seal him away. He winces at the thought.

“Her mother declined to pick her up and sent clean underwear over instead, so she’ll be going to Academy with you in the morning.”

“Oh, sleepover.” Naruto says in an unconcerned tone and yawns, before promptly dropping off to sleep.

Kakashi blinks in confusion. Maybe it’s a trend among students and parents these days that he’s unfamiliar with? Certainly his father wouldn’t have left him alone overnight with a friend he’d barely met, even if he’d known the parents well. Kakashi’s not even sure he’s ever _met_ Aya’s mother, though it’s certainly no secret who the last Hatake is among any of the clans. He shakes his head.

If Naruto was _any_ other child, he’d insist the Hokage find him a new guardian, because he’s definitely not cut out for this. What does he know about parenting anyways? Other than killing yourself where your child is sure to find the body is a bad idea. Nothing, that’s what.

Sighing, he slips into a pair of pajamas, something he normally saves for when he’s on enforced leave, but is probably better to wear with the Inuzuka girl around than half his uniform as he normally does in case of being woken up for emergency assignments. Naruto doesn’t seem to mind either way, but he is rather tactile and gets clingier in his sleep when Kakashi wears the soft flannels. He’ll probably have to pry little hands off, come morning.

~

Kurama isn’t too surprised to see Aya dressed in clothes with the Hatake symbol loudly displayed. Kakashi likes to plant his mark on people he likes and doesn’t even seem aware that he does it. He himself, along with Gai and Tenzo, all have scarves with lightning bolts and the kanji for farmland _which is incidentally the Hatake clan crest_ worked into the subtle pattern to prove it. And more than likely, it’s the smallest set of clothing that Kakashi owns, not a purposeful choice.

What _does_ surprise him is people’s reactions to her wearing it.

There seems to be a general assumption that it means that Aya is now Kakashi’s chosen apprentice, and Aya’s cheerful admittance that Kakashi has said he’d teach her some basics only reinforces the impression. Kurama is too bemused, and then amused, to bother correcting the assumption, since it does no harm. It also means that Aya gets a bit more attention from the teachers, which she frankly needs in his opinion, given how awful her chakra control is.

Aya’s too happy about Kakashi being willing to teach her _anything_ to really notice or get upset that the teachers suddenly have higher expectations of her.

One interesting side effect that he doesn’t mind at all, is that the Inuzuka have apparently assumed such as well and are treating it as an informal alliance. A number of the adults have stepped in on situations where someone is attempting to hassle or bully Kurama, interrupting or distracting rather than telling the other party to stop. Which wouldn’t seem anything but usual Inuzuka behavior _if_ Kurama hadn’t noticed that several of them had _paused and gone out of their way_ to do so.

Though he’s fairly sure that Kakashi hasn’t had reason to notice yet.

~

When Aya touches the chakra paper, Kurama has just enough time to see it try to crumple and crumble at the same time before it _explodes_ and he’s sputtering and wiping bits of dirt out of his eyes, ears and off his lips and cheeks. _Blech._

Kakashi manages to turn his head in time so his mask and hitai-ate catches it instead of his eye, but even he is grimacing and picking dirt out of his ear.

Aya gets the worst of it, and at least half of her tears are because of the dirt in her eyes. “I can’t even do chakra paper right!” she sniffles, wiping her eyes.

“Maa, maa, Aya-chan, you didn’t do it wrong. You just happen to have two elemental affinities. I thought you might, given the problems you were having with tree walking. Obviously Earth is one, but the other is Lightning. It is a very… _difficult_ element to control. What I don’t know is why your affinity is affecting your basic chakra circulation. It shouldn’t do that at all. I think we’ll have to start you with some basic meditation and chakra rotation exercises to help smooth that out. You can still practice water walking with Naruto. It should be a good measure of how well you’re doing with smoothing out your chakra so it behaves.”

Come to think of it, hadn’t Father practiced meditation? Maybe it’s a human need-to-do thing for proper control. That would explain so much about Naruto’s difficulty in handling his chakra properly.

“Don’t cry, Aya-nee. Not just anyone can have two affinities. Some people don’t even have _one._ ” Granted, mostly civilians or people who have yin or yang affinities instead, but still.

“T-Two affinities is good?”

“Of course, Aya-chan. It also means you’re going to have to work twice as hard to master your affinities than people with just one. But you already were going to learn all five, so that’s no problem, ne?”

Kurama has trouble not laughing at the adoring, determined look Aya gives Kakashi. He’s fairly certain that Kakashi has yet to catch on to the whole ‘assumed apprentice’ thing, but apparently he’s more than a little flattered that Aya is making him her role model. Maybe he should clue him in, but he can’t be bothered.

“Right!” Aya says with enthusiasm.

“Naruto can join you for some of the exercises. His chakra control is pretty bad too.” Kakashi adds, eye smiling.

 _Nope_. He’s definitely not clueing him in. Even if he can probably use the meditation, he can tell Kakashi is doing it just to annoy him.

~

School isn’t really different, other than being given only history lessons, with miscellaneous other not-really-Academy studies instead of the classwork the others are studying. Daikoku sensei has assigned a couple introductory fuinjutsu scrolls for reading, which are interesting, and some on politics in the different nations, which are boring enough that Niran regularly has to nudge him awake when he studies them. One of the other teachers even unbent enough to give him copies of several katas for different taijutsu styles that the Academy doesn’t teach. He’s pretty sure that one is related to someone married to an Inuzuka. Or maybe a Nara, though he’s not sure why the Nara would bother.

Kakashi tells him that they probably won’t be useful to him for a number of years yet, due to his size, but he definitely looks thoughtful when he shows them to him.

He has to prove to this class too, that not taking him seriously in a fight means getting hurt, though he’s still too small to do real harm unless he actually means to kill them. Fighting him isn’t actually going to strengthen anything but their reflexes, but maybe it’ll keep them from underestimating someone and getting themselves killed.

It’s almost the end of first quarter when the accident happens. He’s not sure what happens, but when he looks around, one of the students practicing has managed to impale himself with his own kunai at a bad angle and then pulled it out before anyone can stop him.

Kurama winces at the amount of blood, even as the teacher puts pressure on the wound, because he’s seen seasoned shinobi die of such wounds through Naruto’s eyes, much less stupid pre-genin. When there’s no immediate bloom of medical green chakra around the teacher’s hands, he sighs and shunshins for the hospital, ignoring the dig of Niran’s claws at the unexpected speed. Tashi had quickly bored of the novelty of accompanying him to school, but Niran still insisted on coming daily. Though he’s half-convinced that it’s on the off chance that Kurama might let him scratch out that one boy’s eyes.

Not that it was likely. The boy, whose name he still hasn’t bothered to learn, is either afraid of Niran or Aya or both, because he avoids Kurama like the plague now.

“You need to send a med nin to the Academy right now. One of the students fell on his own kunai and is in danger of bleeding out.”

The woman at the desk looks up, takes note of who is standing on her desk, gives him a sneering look of disdain and proceeds to ignore him.

“Excuse me, miss. You need to-”

She looks up, one eyebrow raised, sniffs and goes back to fussing with paperwork, making it clear she’s ignoring him on purpose.

 _Great. Another civilian who hates him. Now is **not** the time!_ Time to yell. “Miss!”

She gets a smug little smile this time.

Niran slides down off his neck, and slaps down his paw, claws extended, digging gouges in the desk a mere hairsbreadth from her fingers, making her yelp as if mortally wounded. “Look, human. Just because you dislike my summoner is no excuse-”

“Excuse me, what’s going on out here?”  A woman wearing a nurses’ uniform and carrying a clipboard emerges from another room.

This time he lets Niran do the talking, since this one looks to be a civilian too.

“This _creature_ you have attending your admittance desk is refusing to send aid to an Academy student who is in the process of bleeding out because she _dislikes_ my summoner, who brought the message.” The amount of scorn dripping from Niran’s words should leave acid marks, it’s so caustic.

“I see. And why did you come, Naruto?”

She’s not someone he remembers, but it’s not like he hasn’t been in the hospital to visit Kakashi more than once, or that anyone seems to be unaware of who he is. He probably has Danzo to thank for that intelligence leak.

Kurama shrugs. “I’m the fastest. The teacher’s probably sent someone else by now, but I’m the only one who can shunshin. Taiki’s kind of an idiot, but he’s losing a lot of blood, even with sensei putting pressure on the wound, and I don’t think anyone there has enough medic training to keep him alive if a med nin doesn’t get to him fairly soon.”

“What happened?”

“I wasn’t near him or looking, so I’m not sure, but I think he managed to fall on his own kunai. By the time I turned around, he was pulling it out.”

The nurse winces. “Location?”

“Gut wound, left side.”

She mutters something under her breath that Kurama misses, then starts barking out orders that shortly has three med nins scurrying out towards the Academy at a fairly impressive speed. Then she turns on the secretary, who still has the gall to look self-satisfied. “And what do you have to say for yourself?”

“I’ve done nothing wrong.”

Kurama has the wit to snatch up Niran before the bristling at her answer goes to claws to the face and hops down from the desk. “I’ve got to go back now. Thanks, Nurse-san.”

She gives a curt little nod of acknowledgement without looking at him, and he’s _fine_ with that, because he recognizes polite rage with authority behind it when he sees it. He _walks_ unhurriedly to the door to avoid drawing her attention further. Behind him he hears a very clipped, “You are _fired_. And I will be recommending a trip to T &I before you are let anywhere near a job that performs important functions in this village again. You may be getting one anyways, given your attitude. It is not _your_ call to let a child and future shinobi of this village _die_ simply because you hate the messenger. You may be cer-”

Kurama shunshins away as soon as he gets to the door, careful to keep a firm grip on Niran, who most certainly shares the nurse’s opinion and is far less likely to be civilized about expressing it.

As far as he’s concerned, though, the woman is just another idiot, not any worse than the average civilian except for her lack of realizing that her actions are going to _have consequences._ She’s probably a spoiled child of a well off civilian family with enough influence to cause problems for others without enough responsibility for it to have backlashed on them yet. It’s a dangerous attitude in a shinobi village. Well, anywhere, really. But ninjas tend to take it personally when one of their own is endangered over a grudge that has no relation to them. In truth, it’s not her attitude towards Kurama that is the problem, it’s being callous to another’s life _because_ of her attitude towards Kurama. It is not the sort of thing that ninjas and those who work with them will overlook or forget. And forgiveness isn’t even on the table, whether she’s earned herself further punishment or not.

If she’s lucky, the worst she’ll have to deal with is losing her job, a brief visit to T&I and being banned from any position with even a hint of sensitivity to it. At worst, her family could be asked to leave Konoha. The former is a lot more likely, though. Konoha is more relaxed about such things when it’s not engaged in war.

~

Graduating is a simple affair. Daikoku sensei calls him to stay after class at the end of the first quarter and informs him that he’s passed the graduation requirements and has been requested as someone’s apprentice. He is to stay after class to wait for them to show up.

Kurama is perhaps more surprised than he should be. It makes sense once he thinks about it, that a student who could graduate at five would be assigned an apprenticeship. But being _requested?_ Half of Konoha thinks he’s a monster in human skin _(they don’t know how right they are)_ and being _requested_ seems a stretch. He wonders what poor bastard the Sandaime has decided to inflict him on this time around.

When his jounin sensei shows up, he notices three things immediately. She’s a woman, an Uchiha, and she wears an eyepatch. Suddenly the _requested_ bit makes a lot more sense, but… “Fugaku-san said Kakashi-nii was the only person with one eye and a sharingan!”

Instead of being offended at his accusing tone, she chuckles. “Fugaku-sama does have the occasional habit of forgetting women exist. I trust you don’t?”

Kurama shivers, memories of the women he’s been familiar with in the past and future flitting through his mind’s eye for a moment. “Forgetting women exist is a good way to end up very messily dead.”

“It is at that.” She chuckles again. “I’m Naori Uchiha, and I’m sure you’ve been told, but you’re to be my apprentice.”

He eyes her a bit warily, but she’s not putting off any negative emotions, just curiosity and mild amusement. “Fugaku-san said you have to, ne?”

Naori tilts her head slightly, then crouches down to eyelevel with him. “Fugaku-sama did point out that he felt that we would be a good fit, but he did not force me to ask for you. He thinks very highly of you. To gain the respect of the Uchiha Clan head is a difficult thing to do at such a young age. Many never manage such a feat, even when older. It made me curious. You are just barely five, correct? Graduating at your age is even harder to do; very few manage it even in wartime when students are hurried through. Hatake-san was the last one, to my knowledge. I think I would like to watch to see who you choose to become. Make sense?”

“I guess.”

She taps the end of his nose, lines around her visible eye crinkling into a smile. “Good. Now, what you may not know, is that I already have a genin team but the third member decided that he wanted to be a civilian after all. So you’ll be filling in so they can take the chunin exams.”

Kurama’s eyes widen, because even he knows that he’s not ready to pass the exam. He can hold his own with _pre-genin_ , but chunin are a whole different story.

“Don’t worry, you’re not expected to pass, just to help them get to the third round. Even if you do well, and impress people in the third round, you won’t be promoted yet, though it will be noted in your records.”

He’s not sure what to think of this, because there’s no denying that humans are weird. “Why do you only have one eye?”

It’s not that he expects her to tell him, more that he plans to judge her temper on her reaction to the rude question.

Naori blinks. “How much do you know about the sharingan?”

Kurama has to think about it, because mostly he just hates the damned thing. “Regular sharingan, one to three tomoes. Special sharingan, funny pattern, weird powers, makes one go blind with repeated or extended use. Extra special sharingan, stronger, doesn’t go blind. Rinnegan, can raise the dead if one sacrifices their life.”

Cool surprise lights Naori’s dark eye, and she stares at him for a moment, expression thoughtful, then nods. “Correct. I have the special sharingan. I used it on a clansman who was ruining his life willfully, to save him from himself. I went partially blind as a result, but I do not regret it. How do you know about the Rinnegan?”

“Um.” _Right. There is no way to explain this._ “I can’t tell you. Kakashi-nii doesn’t know about it.”

“I see. Then you should not admit to knowing about it if asked again, or say that I mentioned it. No one has had the Rinnegan in many generations, and no one outside the Uchiha should know about it.”

“That’s not true. Someone has-” He cuts himself, mentally kicking himself. There’s no way that he could know _that_ either. He’s so terrible at being a human kit that Naruto would be rolling on the floor laughing if he were there to witness it.

Niran flicks an ear and opens his eyes, feline blue staring into Uchiha black. “So, you’re the jounin sensei? Naruto and I were making bets on which poor soul got suckered into it by the Hokage.”

Naori startles enough that Kurama wonders if Niran had a genjutsu running to make himself unnoticed previously. Then she laughs. “Yes, I am. And no, I volunteered.”

He’s not certain why she lets it drop, but he’s glad for it.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bemused=confused. Yes, I _do know_ how to use the word correctly. :)
> 
> Hospital desk secretary thought process: _“I don’t speak to lying little monsters.”_  
>  T&I Yamanaka interrogator, while face-palming: “In her mind having the Kyuubi inside of him means he _is_ the Kyuubi, thus a monster. And since she believes that all monsters always lie, she doesn’t believe she was doing anything wrong. What the fuck is _wrong_ with her parents, teaching her that?”  
>  Ibiki: “So is she a threat to him?”  
> “Physically? No. She is smart enough to realize that attacking him would be a Very Bad Idea, even if she seems terminally confused as to why.”  
> (Deep sigh.) “ _Civilians_.”
> 
> So, she didn’t get anything worse than being banned from potentially vital positions, but word spread about the incident via the ninja gossip line and her family suddenly had a lot less customers. Eventually it hurt their business enough that they moved to a different city. _(Because I’m a mildly vindictive author.)_
> 
> Nurse-san to new secretary: _(points at sanded down but still very visible claw marks in desktop)_ "See that? That's the kind of thing that happens if you endanger patients by ignoring the messenger because you don't like them for some reason. And what happens when you piss off a summons. Don't do either. The previous secretary did both. She's lucky the person involved was calm enough to drag the summons away before it went for her face instead."  
>  New secretary, chunin retired from fieldwork by way of injury: _(eyes claw marks with mild respect, then tosses her a lazy salute)_ "Yes, ma'am."
> 
> I was going to introduce his teammates, but the chapter got too long. Oh well.
> 
>  **So, sorta technicallish explanation of what happened to Naruto:** He kind of accidentally squooshed his soul into Kurama's chakra when he had his overprotective reaction (and burned his chakra out), so now his soul is permanently intertwined with Kurama's chakra. ( _That's_ the reason that Kurama's chakra is now blue and doesn't feel like malice incarnate.)  
>  It was enough to confuse his body into thinking Kurama was the soul intended for it, and leave him in the position of being something like a chakra impression, but not quite. He can see what's going on, but he can't talk to Kurama. However, since he's already lived one lifetime and has some serious PTSD over it, he's actually _fine_ with Kurama living his life this time around and kind of tickled that Kurama gets the chance to live as a human on his own.  
>  Since his body can't distinguish between the two of them properly, neither of them got sorted into the bijuu cage, so it's sitting there fully functional and locked...and completely empty. Kurama is still convinced that Naruto managed to wipe his soul out of existence, because he _felt/saw_ Naruto's chakra burn out. It may be a long time until he discovers differently. In the meantime, you can picture sorta-ghost Naruto rolling on the floor howling in laughter at Kurama's choices and screw ups.
> 
> Kurama's chakra coils expanded suddenly when he absorbed his past Yang half and had a temporary overflow of yang energy for a bit. You've seen his conjecture on it, so you know he's not actually aware that's what happened.
> 
> I noted a bit belatedly that Niran and Naori's names are easy to mix up. Sorry about that. Niran is the (male) cat summons.  
> Naori is the (female) Uchiha jounin sensei. What happened to Naori's eye is canon. She has wavy purple hair and straight cut bangs that hang over her hitai-ate (at least before the loss of her eye). She wears two swords. It doesn't say if she started wearing a patch or not after losing her sight in one eye, however it would be a smart precaution. Canon doesn't place her age or exactly when she lived, although it appears to be a fair bit after the founding of the village. I've always kind of mentally placed her as somewhere between Minato/Kushina's and Fugaku/Mikoto's ages, so I'm saying she's probably about 29 here, almost a decade older than Kakashi and Gai who are now around 20. (Kurama|Naruto ages, so do they. lol.)


	5. Chunin exams

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kurama supports his team during the exams.

“Naruto, these are your teammates, Taya Yuki-” A tallish girl with dark red hair with a brownish tint to it, like the color of drying arterial blood, and two-toned eyes, outer circles of bright blue surrounding dark purple.

“Not of the Kiri clan. No kekkai genkai.” She clarifies with a small smile.

“-and Masato Kurama.” A boy about the same height as Taya, with light brown hair and medium brown eyes.

Kurama almost chokes at the name. _“Kurama!?”_ he asks incredulously. _That’s HIS name!_

Naori sensei gives him a questioning look. “Do you not know of the Kurama clan? They are generally genjutsu specialists because of their clan kekkai genkai which allows them to make illusions so well that they can even injure with them.”

“Or heal.” Masato says in a mild tone.

Naori sensei smiles. “Masato is the first Kurama to apply his kekkai genkai is such a manner. Most Kuramas stick to more combat oriented applications. He’s training as a medic and uses a sakujo staff by preference. Taya is a suiton user who specializes in senbon and non henge disguises. Though they are both passable at kenjutsu.”

Kurama blinks at this a few times. “So, um. I’m supposed to be the taijutsu specialist if Taya senpai’s ninjutsu, and Masato senpai is genjutsu?”

All three of them give him surprised looks, and he wonders if the normal specialization distribution in teams is something he shouldn’t be aware of yet.

“No.” Masato says in a dry tone.

Taya laughs. “Don’t worry about it, chibi-kun. We’re an assassination and infiltration squad, and probably will go into ANBU if we can swing it. That’s why Naori sensei taught us kenjutsu. All you need to do is focus on your own specialties and learn enough to stay alive through the chunin exams, because your next teammates might have entirely different specializations, ne?”

“And to that end, you’ll be learning kenjutsu.” Naori sensei says. “Do you have any ideas of what you might want to specialize in? And what skills do you have beyond the Academy basics? Your file had a note that you have some advanced skills, but no mention of what they are.”

 _Destroying puny human villages that annoy me_. Kurama twitches and shakes off the thought. “Um. You met Niran. I have two summoning contracts. One with the Siamese Temple cats, and one with the Temple Fu dogs. I can shunshin, water walk, and tree walk. I have a _lot_ of chakra, but it’s hard to do low ranked jutsus and other jutsus that require precision because of that.” _He’s not nearly as bad as Naruto was, but still._ “I only know the Academy taijutsu and throwing skills, but I have some scrolls for other taijutsu styles from a teacher. Kakashi-nii says they might be useful when I’m bigger. Oh, and Kakashi-nii is starting to teach me fuuinjutsu. I want to be a police officer.”

“Well, that will certainly make Fugaku-sama happy.” Naori sensei chuckles. “Well, you’ll have a few years to work out what exactly you want to specialize in, because they’ll probably try to put you with teammates your own age. And we can certainly work on skills that will benefit you as a police officer.”

“I can teach you how to spot non-jutsu disguises.” Taya volunteers.

Kurama considers this. Teaching him has no real benefit for her, considering they won’t be on the same team for long. Thus it is…an offer of casual alliance? He’s not quite sure, but he thinks so. “I…might be able to teach you a transformation disguise that’s a lot harder to spot than a normal henge?”

Masato looks interested for the first time. “Genjutsu based?”

“What jutsu is that, Naruto?” Naori sensei also sounds interested.

He looks at the ground and scuffs a toe. “No. It’s like a henge, but not. It’s got a dumb name, and it’s original. But I’m not sure how much chakra it takes, so I’m not sure if Taya senpai can use it or not.”

“Oh, now I’m interested in the name, chibi-kun. What is it?”

“Sexy jutsu.” He mutters and flushes. _Naruto had the stupidest ideas, and now they’re going to get blamed on him._ That everyone thinks he _is_ Naruto is besides the point.

Taya giggles. “I like it already! But aren’t you like five? Pretty precocious.”

He crosses his arms. “It’s good for defeating perverts and strong ninjas.”

“Oh, don’t sulk, chibi-kun. I’m just teasing you. Even if I can’t use it, I can probably get ideas to use on targets if it’s one we have to lure in.”

Kurama turns his back on her, because teasing one thing, but he doesn’t have to tolerate being talked down to.

“Oh, wow. Ouch. Got quite a temper on you, don’t you, chibi-kun? Is it the nickname? Or that I didn’t apologize?” Taya actually sounds a little guilty, so he turns back around to eye her suspiciously.

After a moment, he relents enough to explain, “You don’t have to apologize, but you don’t get to tell me not to sulk if you’re not going to apologize. If I cared about the name, I’d call you bloodhair senpai.”

Taya winces, then laughs. “Alright, alright. You’re right. I was being patronizing. It won’t happen again. Will you still show me your jutsu?”

“I will.” He’s not the sort to take back what he’s offered in good faith. Stifling a sigh, he decides he might as well get it over with, since it’s not like he _doesn’t know_ how to do it, given how enamored of it Naruto was. Although he refuses to do the yelling out the name of the jutsu bit. _Honestly_. No one yells out ‘shunshin’ when they shunshin, why do they feel the need to share the names of their more unique techniques every time?

A couple minutes later, Kurama is suffering being poked at by a fascinated Taya while Masato tries to study the transformation while simultaneously flushing and looking anywhere but at ‘Naruko’. After watching him fidget for a bit, Kurama grins wickedly, deciding to add to his suffering. It takes no effort at all to create a clone male version. Masato looks frantically back and forth between them, then sits down with his head in his hands, muttering. _Excellent_. Proof that the Kurama _clan_ is inferior to _him_.

Naori sensei gently flicks the top of his head, looking amused. “Don’t pick on your teammates, Naruto. Even if you think their clan name is strange.”

 _“Holy shit!_ Is that a shadow clone version!?” Taya squeals, finally noticing.

“It’s not _strange_.” Kurama protests _(his name is not strange!)_ , then releases the jutsu and answers Taya. “Um, yes? It’s not hard.” Then he pauses to think about it and realizes that he’s seen very few ninjas, even top jounin, use shadow clones casually. “For me, at least. I don’t know if you have enough chakra for it. But if you can do a kage bunshin to begin with, you just need to get the details right to make it look like you want it to.”

Masato looks up in interest. “You keep saying you have a lot of chakra. For comparison’s sake, how much would you say you have?”

The question takes him off guard. “Um…Almost as much as Kakashi-nii?”

That’s not true, because he _certainly_ has far more than that, but it is true that his chakra coils can’t currently handle more than that without damage. Being a tiny human has more than one downside.

Taya gawks, then looks at Naori sensei. “Sensei, is there a way I can expand my chakra capacity enough to use a kage bunshin like that?”

Naori sensei looks thoughtful. “That’s a jounin level jutsu because of the chakra requirement, but some chunin can use it. If you succeeded in using it at your current capacity, the chakra drain would outright kill you. If you want to expand your chakra coils and reserve faster, you can drain your chakra reserves thoroughly on a semi-regular basis. I would recommend no more than twice a week at most, unless you’re under the direct supervision of a certified med nin, and never right before a mission.”

“I just want you to know, I’m extremely jealous, Naruto.” Masato says calmly, then adds, “Is it true that the Hatake clan has allied with the Inuzuka clan?”

Kurama casts him a wary glance, but the human isn’t _feeling_ envious in a negative way, so he grins. “Kakashi-nii is teaching Aya-nee chakra control cuz she’s really, _really_ bad at it.”

Masato looks thoughtful. “I don’t suppose you’d be interested in allying the Hatakes with the Kuramas?”

He blinks at him in puzzlement over the phrasing, though this is certainly the _bluntest_ offer of alliance he’s ever heard. Finally he figures out what’s strange about the question. “I’m not a Hatake, you know? I’m from the Uzumaki clan. There’s only me left. I don’t think your clan would consider me a good ally.”

Masato frowns, standing up. “You accepted Taya’s alliance offer.”

“Wait, what alliance offer?” Taya sounds confused. “I just offered to teach chibi-kun some skills he might find useful.”

“And he turned around and offered to teach you an original jutsu that has to be the next thing to a kinjutsu. Even after you annoyed him. If that’s not an alliance offer, then I don’t know what is. Didn’t your parents teach you _anything?_ ”

Taya looks totally lost. “But we’re teammates. Isn’t helping each other normal?”

“Helping, yes, Teaching clan jutsus, no. And if he came up with it, it’s a clan jutsu by default.”

“Is that true, chibi-kun?”

“Yes? I mean, I thought that’s what you were offering, but if you don’t want to it’s okay. You probably shouldn’t teach the jutsu to others, though, because Masato senpai is right. It is kinda a kinjutsu.” It’s only technically not because this time around the old man hasn’t seen it yet. And he really doesn’t need to be responsible for the death of reckless tiny humans, even ones twice his current size. More importantly, he needs to clarify that he isn’t _rejecting_ the offer of alliance. “I offered to let you learn it too, Masato senpai.”

Which is true. Or he’d have invited Taya over to the Hatake compound for individual lessons. Even if it’s also true that he really doesn’t care _who_ knows the jutsu, as long as it’s benefitting Konoha, not being used against it. Stopping a repeat of the future is going to be difficult enough _without_ having Naruto’s kinjutsu used against the place he lives. Assuming, of course, that a repeat _can_ be stopped without Naruto around. _That idiot._

The mild tenseness in Masato’s face relaxes. “Personal alliance, then?”

Kurama nods, because there’s really no reason for him to attempt to ally with an entire clan he’s never met, even if the one he’s met seems to be an innately calm and reliable type. Not to mention, he’s not certain if the minor Konoha clans are any more aware of what jinchuuriki _actually_ means than the civilians. He’s not about to promise alliance to people he isn’t sure won’t hate him on principle. But it certainly won’t hurt to have personal alliances with people who _specialize_ in being sneaky and lethal.

“I didn’t say I didn’t want to, chibi-kun! But I don’t know about alliances and stuff. Isn’t that something the Clan heads do?”

Masato makes a complaining sound. “I always wondered why your family isn’t a clan. Now I know. Half of _being_ a clan or in one is politics. _Anyone_ can make alliances. _Anyone_. Even civilians. Just don’t accept any alliance offer if you can’t uphold your half of the bargain, or no one will trust you.”

“Or people you can’t trust.” Kurama adds, because she seems like the kind of human to not think of that sort of thing without being told or learning the hard way.

Taya blinks at him. “Huh. So you wouldn’t be offended if I don’t want to, because we’ve just met, so I can’t _know_ if I can trust you?”

That isn’t _quite_ it, but he nods, because it’s close enough.

“But why would you accept one with me? You don’t know you can trust me either yet, right?”

Kurama shrugs. “You don’t hate me. A lot of people in the village do. And if you decided to turn on me, you’re skilled enough that it doesn’t really matter if I trust you now or not, does it? And it’s my own fault for assuming you meant more than you did. You really only offered an exchange of minor skills and information alliance even if you had meant to. It’s different from what Masato senpai offered. He wanted a political alliance, because the Hatake clan is a major clan, even if Kakashi-nii is the only one left. But I can’t do that, because I don’t know anything about the Kurama clan other than their specialty, and I’m not a Hatake. I _can_ , however, make a personal alliance with him, because anyone can do that as long as both parties agree.”

“Ugh. Do _all_ clan kids know this? Why don’t they cover this in Academy!?”

“I highly doubt all clan kids know this, though they probably pick up on it when they’re older, whether they realize it or not.” Naori sensei cuts in kindly. “Most ‘alliances’ consist of teammates, former teammates, friends, neighbors, teachers and/or students, and any alliances the family or Clan head makes officially or unofficially.”

“So chibi-kun was offering you alliance too, because you’re our sensei?”

“Actually, I believe he has an unofficial alliance with Fugaku-sama and is extending it to me because I’m an Uchiha. Although that didn’t occur to me until Masato started talking about alliance directly. It is not something that concerns most genin, even if they are aware of it peripherally.”

“I can tell Jiji that it should be covered in Academy.” Kurama offers, because it _is_ kind of stupid that so many ninjas don’t seem to be aware of something so basic. Alliances aren’t just a human thing, after all.

“Jiji?” Taya blinks at him in puzzlement.

“The Hokage? He’s Kakashi-nii’s sensei’s sensei’s sensei. And probably my actual guardian? Maybe. So I call him Jiji. Cuz he’s old. And always wants to hear about stuff.”

Masato looks startled and Taya pales a little. “No offense, chibi-kun, but if I make an alliance with you and my family ever got a hint, they’d make me talk to Hokage-sama about anything they wanted him to hear. Can we just be friends or teammates instead?”

Kurama shrugs. It doesn’t bother him; after all, he was just reciprocating, not initiating. _Or so he thought._ He really does need to get better at reading humans. It does feel strange that the old man is the deciding factor in her choosing to decline, though. “Sure.”

~

The next six months mostly consist of a _lot_ of kenjutsu practice, a fair amount of fuuinjutsu practice, chakra control practice with Aya, and learning to work in a team. Masato and Taya are kind and easygoing when it comes to him, so it’s easy to work with them despite Taya’s general enthusiasm and Masato’s tendency towards monosyllabic if not particularly interested by something. Neither of them have been able to copy the Sexy Jutsu yet, because the chakra requirement is a bit high, but they’ve both _learned_ it well enough he has no doubt they’ll both be able to use it once they expand their reserves enough. And they’ve both come up with some new ideas for their own specialties off of it. _Which really?_ He wouldn’t have even considered. _Naruto_ was the creative one, not him.

The chunin exams are…well, the written part is okay. He doesn’t understand all the questions, but the math based ones are easy enough given his knowledge. And the tenth question is so obviously _your desire to pass vs your teammates’ futures_ that he is the first to get up and walk out. _Looking out for the team_ is basically Konoha’s creed. Of course it helps that he _doesn’t_ have a desire to pass at the moment. Taya and Masato follow him out looking quietly devastated, and there’s some sneers at his actions. Given his age, it probably comes off as cowardice. A fair number of candidates stay behind, which is _fine_ by him.

Those who chose to leave, like his team had, are stopped at the second floor and informed that they have passed the first stage of the exam. He watches the other teams and notes those who look surprised vs those who don’t, and marks the latter as potentially more dangerous than the others. Fortunately there’s only two of them. Well, three, if one counts him.

Masato just gives him a thoughtful look before turning to observe the others, probably for tells to use against them if it comes to genjutsu combat.

Taya on the other hand is hugging him and laughing and crying into his hair, which is… “Senpai, can you stop? You’re getting snot in my hair.”

This only succeeds in turning it into straight up crying, and he can just _see_ the other teams dismissing them or marking them as easy targets. _Great_. They _aren’t_ , of course, but some of those teams are _combat_ teams. Not particularly something he wants to face at his current size and skill level. Still, being underestimated is never a bad asset in battle, so they’ll at least have surprise on their side.

~

Kurama still finds the name _Forest of Death_ laughable. So far, the only wildlife they’ve directly encountered have been a group of the massive tigers that live here. Maybe it had been a little unsporting to let out some killing intent to let them know they were facing a bigger predator, but the way they had cowered and scrammed had been a bit amusing, and he _was_ here to get his teammates safely through this portion of the exam. He doesn’t have to participate in the third portion if he doesn’t want to.

The other thing to worry about is the other teams, of course, but he’s honestly not _very_ worried about it. It’s too early for the Snake Sannin to have a reason to be stalking his team through the Forest this time around. Not to mention that the Kurama kekkai genkai is likely of no use to the man and thus of no interest. And his teammates _are_ infiltration specialists. All of them are carrying swords that no one saw them bring in because they had them in storage seals attached to the inner flap of their kunai pouches.

Their scroll is in Kurama’s storage seal, mostly because he can shunshin, something a bit above their level as of yet.

A soft curse from Masato cures his incipient boredom, though. They’ve been ambushed, and by one of the combat teams at that. Well, by two members of one. The third is apparently elsewhere, or waiting in reserve. Both his teammates are holding off their attackers, but that won’t last long.

He uses chakra to leap _over_ Masato’s shoulder, tanto aimed at his attacker’s face, and when the human manages to send Masato staggering backwards and get his own weapon up to counter Kurama’s, he switches it up and uses his foot instead. The other genin goes down with a crash. The impact is enough to stop his own momentum, so he uses the chance to twist midair and slash his tanto down over the side of Taya’s attacker’s face.

Kurama doesn’t see what happens, because he’s too busy catching himself so he doesn’t land at a horrible angle, but when he looks up, Masato is engaging the third member of the combat team. In an actual sword fight, not just a contest of strength over blades like before. Taya’s opponent is hampered by the blood gushing into her eye more than the actual wound, but it’s enough that Taya isn’t in imminent danger of being overwhelmed now. Satisfied, Kurama turns to the one he downed and has no qualms at all about kicking him in the head when he moans and starts to lunge upright. This time he stays down, which gives Kurama a chance to tie him up with ninja wire and riffle through his pouch, pulling out the Heaven scroll that is happily the counterpart to their own Earth scroll.

He winces a little as Masato’s opponent starts screaming, obviously having been caught unaware by his genjutsu. Taya’s opponent reacts with ferocity and is well on her way to overwhelming Taya until he trips her and then smacks the back of her head with the hilt of his tanto.

“Thanks, chibi-kun.” Taya pants out as she takes advantage of the other kunoichi’s disorientation to immobilize her with ninja wire.

They leave the other team trussed up. Hopefully the exam proctors will find them before the resident wildlife does, but death by misadventure _is_ an accepted risk in this exam.

~

Six teams in total make it. Theirs and another Konoha team. A Suna team. An Iwa team. And two Kumo teams. Too many according to the proctor, so there’s a round of elimination fights and anyone who doesn’t feel that they’re up to fighting after the trek through the Forest is allowed to withdraw. Unfortunately, two of the other Konoha team are badly injured enough that they withdraw, and the other seems to only be staying in for the same reason Kurama is: _To cut down the number of opponents Masato and Taya will have to fight._

Two of the Iwa team takes out their Kumo opponents easily enough. Taya manages to take out her Suna opponent simply because the boy assumes she specializes in genjutsu and tries to engage her in a genjutsu battle. Masato takes out his Kumo opponent because she assumes that he’s a kenjutsu specialist for some reason. _Maybe the sword?_ The other Konoha genin is a combat specialist and takes out his Iwa opponent efficiently.

Kurama’s match is against another of the Kumo nin, one who makes the classic Academy mistake of underestimating him. He goes down clutching himself and surrenders when Kurama holds his tanto to his throat. _Which really?_ Even Kurama is embarrassed for him. The next Suna nin wins his fight against his Kumo opponent with some difficulty. The remaining Suna nin loses her fight against her Kumo opponent.

Which means that all four Konoha genin, one Suna genin, two Iwa genin, and one Kumo genin pass to the finals. In a month’s time they all have to come back for the final rounds, which Kurama isn’t really looking forward to, since they know their matchups for the first round. Masato will be facing one of the Iwa nin, Taya the remaining Kumo nin, the other Konoha genin is matched against the other Iwa nin, and Kurama is matched against the remaining Suna nin.

Kurama won’t pass even if he wins, so it’s basically a match he’s destined to lose. Suna is an ally, so using KI on the little human isn’t really something he should do and he won’t be underestimated this time, so that rules out the quick method. He doesn’t want people to look too hard at him, so using more than two shadow clones or the sexy jutsu is out. Which more or less means he’s confined to using kenjutsu and shunshin. There’s very little chance of _winning_ , so the best he can plan for is to make it difficult enough to make his opponent look good.

~

When he gets home, Aya-nee is there, practicing fuiinjutsu basics in their living room. Kakashi-nii glances up lazily from his book. “How did it go?”

“We-”

He breaks off as Aya-nee drops her brush, jumps up and hugs him. “Did it go well, Naruto-chan? Did you pass?”

“Oomph. Aya-nee, I can’t breathe. Yes, we got through the second round. Taya senpai and Masato senpai got some bruises and scratches, but I’m fine.”

“How many passed?” Kakashi-nii enquires idly.

“Six teams.”

“Ah, so there was an elimination round.”

“Yes. My opponent was an _idiot_. Believe it.” Kurama grumbles.

 _“You made it into the finals!?”_ Aya-nee enthuses, and he slumps.

“Yes. So I have a month to figure out how to keep my opponent from kicking my ass in half a minute flat.” He sulks, because going into fights he _knows_ he’s going to lose is the second worst feeling ever.

“What nation are they from?”

“He’s from Suna. I think he’s the tactical and his team is a medium combat type.”

 “Saa, Suna specializes in fuuiton and doton, so I suggest dodging. A lot. And watching your footing if he prefers doton.”

Kurama slumps further. “Yeah. Naori-sensei says we’re working on kenjutsu and speed for the next month. All of us. Except Masato senpai. He’s got to work with his shakujo, instead. He and the other Konoha genin who passed are up against the two Iwa genin, and Taya senpai’s up against the Kumo one.”

“So the last fight is between the other two Konoha team members?” Aya-nee asks, dropping his limp form to the floor in exasperation.

He grunts from the impact and sprawls out comfortably. “No, they both dropped out before because they were too injured to fight.”

~

The next month is _hell_.

Kakashi-nii has decided that he’ll improve faster at kenjutsu if he has more opponents to face, so after the hours of training he gets with his team, he has _brutal_ sessions at home, too. Unlike his team mates, who are chunin level at best, and Naori sensei who holds back to his level so he can understand more easily what he’s doing wrong or right, Kakashi-nii consistently pushes him to his limits and occasionally beyond.

Kurama keeps falling asleep during chakra meditation and fuuinjutsu practice, with Kakashi-nii waking him for meals and making sure he doesn’t drown because he falls asleep in the tub.

The worst of it is that he _knows_ Kakashi-nii doesn’t specialize in kenjutsu and Kurama _still_ never wants to go up against him for real because he’s just _that much better_.

~

Masato’s opponent is…not expecting a shakujo, and has obviously never faced one before. He’s _good_ , but Masato still manages to beat the Iwa nin into the ground and make him forfeit.

Taya’s fight is harder. Even with improved speed and some polish on her kenjutsu skills, it’s a tough fight against the Kumo nin. Several times only her suiton jutsus keep her from losing badly early on. She loses, but manages to drag the fight out long enough to prove she has skills.

Asahi, the other Konoha genin, fights evenly with his Iwa opponent, but it’s obvious that he’s better, and after a few minutes of proving it, he ends the fight with a knockout, though the Iwa genin didn’t do badly in holding his own against a superior opponent.

Kurama doesn’t realize how much the training sessions with Kakashi-nii have helped him until he starts fighting and sees how much _slower_ his opponent is than Kakashi-nii. It allows him to dash in and out, dodging both fuuiton _and_ doton jutsus, and coming back to strike. Not that it does much good. Masaru, the Suna nin, is good enough to block his strikes despite not being as fast, so the worst he manages to score are minor nicks. But the fact is that he’s _not_ being totally overwhelmed, and his shadow clones have managed to force Masaru into pulling out some other techniques to defend himself.

In the end, it’s a fuuiton jutsu that he doesn’t see in time and sends him halfway across the arena before crashing into a tree that does him in. He winces as he sits up, hand gingerly on his side. A broken rib, and it feels like it’s punctured a lung. It’s not enough to _stop_ him and it’s already trying to heal, but fighting with a punctured lung will probably get him lectures for _years_ and both of them have already made their point with the fight. “I forfeit. I think I have a punctured lung.”

He pauses and coughs up a little blood, spitting and grimacing at the taste. _Yup_.

Kurama lets the med nins fuss over him, mostly to make sure the bones go back where they should to make healing easier, but they give him surprised looks at his healing rate and send him back to the stands in time to see Masaru defeat the Kumo nin. He _might_ squawk a little when Kakashi-nii scoops him onto his shoulders so others can’t accidentally jostle his ribs.

The next match, between Masato and Asahi is anti-climactic. Asahi forfeits immediately, stating he doesn’t want to win badly enough to risk being caught in a Kurama clan genjutsu. That raises some brows, because most of the audience has assumed that he’s a weapon specialist, not a genjutsu specialist.

The match between Masaru and Masato is more interesting. Masato can use the sakujo to deflect or avoid jutsus and while he’s not as fast as Kurama, he’s stronger and bigger, his blows carrying more force. Masaru has an advantage in having more chakra and techniques suited to direct battle, but a disadvantage in that he has to avoid getting caught in Masato’s genjutsu. In the end, Masato misses his footing on ground broken by various dotons, and ends up surrendering at bladepoint.

The Suna contingent looks very smug at having won the tournament.

They deserve it, but Kurama’s just glad it’s over and ended without any worse injuries than his broken ribs and punctured lung. Not everyone had survived the second portion of the exam, and even the third portion couldn’t guarantee no death or permanent maiming. He rather likes having his senpais alive and mostly unharmed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Masato’s bisexual, if anyone was interested. He’s just not as much of a pervert as most of the canon folks who got to interact with that jutsu. He’s a _good boy_ , who tries to treat others with respect. Which, y’know, is a good thing, given that he can _kill people with his mind_.
> 
> Taya may have come off with a bit of an odd impression of how ‘alliances’ work, but overall it will serve her well in future interactions with other ninjas, as she now knows to clarify at need.  
> Also, both Kurama's and Masato's povs on alliances are kind of abnormal. While it does work _more or less_ the way they explain it, most people do it more subconsciously and more in the way of making friends or working bonds rather than straight up offering alliances, even 'casually' like Kurama tries to do.  
>  Kurama obviously does have reasons to make allies, saving the world is a problem without any, or he probably wouldn't bother to try.  
> Masato _does_ have his own reasons to be looking for allies, though. 1. He's kind of an oddball in his family, and his line of work will restrict making friends more casually. 2. It's more of a mild worry at this point, but his Clan's hime is somewhat of an issue because she's sickly and the clan is starting to worry that if she survives, she won't be able to control the clan kekkai genkai. And the downside of the Kurama clan's surreal ability to inflict reality via illusion is that if one's mind isn't strong enough, they can develop a secondary personality that turns evil and wreaks havoc.
> 
> Kurama’s…effectively mentally asexual. I don’t think bijuu were created with procreation in mind somehow. Also too young to have any physical urges to bother him. So he’s a little weirded out by the whole ‘sexy’ thing despite having a familial mindset.
> 
> The combat team is rescued, but not before they decide Konoha is _insane_ to have a forest full of _very large_ creatures that think humans might be tasty.
> 
> Fuuiton- It’s actually ‘futon’, but that makes my brain go _‘like the mattress’_ , so ‘fuuiton’ so I don’t get stuck in writing over snickering to myself. Wind release jutsus.
> 
> Doton- Earth release jutsus


	6. Uchihas, Aya, and Council decisions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Snips of the time wherein Kurama is without teammates.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cripes, I last updated this near the end of August last year...
> 
>  _Rejoice, mortals! The Great Kurama has at long last decided he can tolerate communicating again!_ (Ahem) Yeah, I was having a few issues sorting out what should happen exactly in this chapter. Hopefully the end result is okay.
> 
> Please point out any typos. I didn't edit this chapter.

For the next couple months, Naori sensei puts Kurama through as much training as she can, but there’s only so much he can do with a puny 5yr old human body. Kakashi-nii backs off on the kenjutsu training since he has Naori sensei’s undivided instruction in that currently, but steps up his training in seal work, much to Kurama’s…well, delight would be the wrong word, since it’s still a pain to lay the careful strokes and parse out the various bits that are _almost identical_ but do very different things within a seal. But he’s definitely pleased to be moving into more complicated seals, getting closer to his goal of being able to create seals that remove slavery seals.

“Naruto, I’m going to be gone on a mission for a while. I want you to continue to practice what we’ve been doing for the last couple days, and if you need help, you can ask your brother.”

Kurama blinks at Naori sensei. “Okay. But what about D ranks? I can’t take those without you, right?”

“Ah, don’t worry about that. Since you plan to join the police force later on, I’ve set it up so you can learn some of the basics and help them out. You’ll go to Fugaku-sama to learn what to you’re to do for that day, and your work will be counted as D ranks. Since they’re not commissioned D ranks, you won’t get paid for them, but you will receive an allowance from the police force as compensation. Understood?”

“Hai! Thank you, Naori sensei.”

She smiles and ruffles his hair, ignoring his twitch. “Sorry about this. But it should only be a few months of periodic missions, until the Academy graduation when you’ll be assigned new teammates and I’ll be able to be your sensei fulltime again. Alright?”

Kurama makes a face. “I understand. Konoha can’t afford to have a jounin idle for just one student. Do you think they’ll really assign me teammates this time?”

“They will.” She reassures him. “It’s possible that you’ll be required to be a third for the chunin exams and not pass because of worries over your age again this time, but if that happens, you’ll be assigned another set of teammates. They’re not going to let you go without teammates.”

“Because of Kakashi-nii?”

Naori sensei grins. “Saa, I understand he’s been rather voluble on the subject, but it seems that the Hokage and Fugaku-sama share his concerns. After all, genius isn’t much use to the police force if you can’t work well with different kinds of people.”

He crosses his arms and huffs. _It is kind of his weak point; he’s not Naruto with his innate love of people._  “I guess.”

She ruffles his hair again. “You’ll be fine. Now, let me show you another kenjutsu move to practice while I’m gone. I don’t want you getting lazy like your brother.”

Kurama rolls his eyes but doesn’t protest. Kakashi-nii does go out of his way to appear lazy, and there’s no doubt he _could_ push himself harder, he’s actually one of the least lazy humans Kurama knows of. With a bad tendency to overdo things on missions and land himself in the hospital, followed by mandatory recuperation time that adds to his illusion of being lazy. But anyone who can keep up with _Gai_ , who is always pushing himself to improve, and who is a literal monster in a fight, is far from lazy. And that doesn’t even count his stupidly famous ninjutsu collection that he tries to add to with every mission. There are far worse role models than Kakashi-nii. Not that he has any intention of copying the _appearance_ of laziness, of course. If he wants to be lazy, he’ll sleep, like any sensible being.

~

Kurama’s lips twitch at Aya’s expression. Apparently, it hadn’t occurred to her that the reward for _finally_ conquering water walking and tree walking, was to practice water walking while carrying a burden. “Look on the bright side, Aya-nee. At least Tashi will just laugh at you if you lose concentration. If it was Niran you’d be risking impressive claw marks if you got any water on him.”

“I like water.” Niran retorts, sitting on the water like it’s solid ground and licking one light brown paw ostentatiously.

Aya gives Niran a leery sideways look. She’s seen his reaction to being splashed or drenched when it wasn’t his idea. Swimming or playing in water is quite clearly a different creature than any other form of water induced indignity in the cat’s mind. “Uh-huh. Bright side.”

“At least Kakashi-nii doesn’t have you practicing sword katas while water walking yet.” He offers, trying not to laugh at her. After all, her issues aren’t really _her_ fault.

She promptly groans and picks up Tashi. “Don’t give him ideas.”

Kurama huffs with laughter at that. “I don’t _need_ to, dattebayo! He’s already making me practice katas _and_ sparring while water and tree walking.”

Aya groans and trudges out on the stream. “That’s on top of your genin stuff and seals practice and meditation and whatever time you spend helping me. Don’t you ever get tired?”

“Uh-huh. If I complain, Kakashi-nii just says it helps me sleep better at night.”

“He would.” She looks around curiously. “Where is he hiding this time?”

Pausing, he takes a moment to locate the _cracklefizz_ of Kakashi’s chakra in the village, then lifts his brows in surprise. “He’s…in the Inuzuka compound, I think?”

“Oh. Right. Mom said she wanted to talk to him about something. I forgot.”

He shrugs, losing interest. _Aya’s mother is a bit odd, if you ask him._

~

“Naruto-chan! _Naruto-chan! Naruto-chan!”_ Aya bursts into the police station, startling him into almost dropping a stack of folders he’s delivering to one of the officers.

“Aya-nee? What’s wrong?”

 _“Nothing! Look!”_ She holds out a young, gangly puppy that bears a distinct resemblance to a racing hound crossed with a wolf, despite its young age. _“I finally got my ninken!”_

“Ah.” He stares at the creature that is mere inches from his face, noting its outsized paws and twitching as it yawns, showing off gleaming canines. “Are you _sure_ that’s a dog?”

The puppy licks his nose in retaliation.

“His name is Jin!”

“Hey, Inuzuka brat, simmer down. Some of us are trying to work here.” An Uchiha grumps.

“Mom says I can start learning the clan jutsus now, too!”

“That’s great, Aya-nee. You can tell me all about it…in an hour when I get off work?” He glances at the annoyed officer and then stage-whispers, “You’re scaring the Uchihas with your volume. They’re all sensitive that way, y’know?”

“Oh.” She glances around guilty and drops her volume to a whisper. “I’m sorry. I didn’t realize.”

He nods solemnly. “They’re good at hiding it, because they think it makes them too ‘civilian’ if others know.”

“Ohhhh!” Aya whispers, nodding in understanding. “That makes sense!” She looks around again, then assumes a more dignified stance. “I’ll…just leave now. So I don’t scare them more. I’ll wait for you at your house.”

“Thanks, Aya-nee!”

She walks out quietly, Jin clutched carefully against her chest.

For a moment it’s quiet, until someone drops a pen and it clatters against the floor. Kurama sets the stack of files on the appropriate desk, ignoring the glares directed his way.

“So. Scared of loud noises, are we?” The grumpy one asks sharply.

Kurama shrugs. “She left didn’t she? Inuzuka understand disliking loud noises, because their hearing is sharper than average. Telling her to shut up would just make her keep shouting. A loud person can shout down a smart person any day of the year, dattebayo.”

 _And while he’s certainly capable of shouting Aya down if he needs to, he has the example of Naruto and Sakura to look at, not to mention Kushina and Minato._ Of course, he knows well that intelligence is relative to any situation. Intelligence does one no good if one can’t get the attention of others to use it effectively when it can be of use. Or if one doesn’t have the strength to help when needed. Intelligence paired with lack of knowledge and skill tends to just get one looked down upon. Humans make much of ‘superior intelligence’, but in practice they don’t _respect_ it unless enough work has been put into skills that support its use in a practical manner in multiple situations. _Still, the Uchiha officers put stock in their intelligence over that of other clans, so they’ll buy it._

“Hmph.” The grump huffs, but settles back down to his own work.

It takes a few moments for the rest of the glares to fall away in favor of work, but Kurama just goes to do his next task. _It’s best if he doesn’t tell them that the entire Inuzuka clan is likely to hear of it within days and the Uchihas will probably have to deal with **whispering** Inuzukas for a while._ He manages to repress his smirk until he’s out of the room.

~

“Naruto, would you care to explain to me why Tsume Inuzuka spent an entire Council meeting _whispering_ every time she addressed me and apologized to me _twice_ for accidentally getting too loud when addressing others?” Fugaku’s tone is somewhere between aggravation, amusement, bemusement, and certainty that he’s addressing the culprit behind the phenomenon.

Kurama looks up from the extremely tedious paperwork he’s filing and blinks innocently. “Well, it could be because Aya-nee came in to tell me about her ninken, and the officers wanted her to be quiet, so I told her Uchihas are scared by loud volume? Cuz otherwise she wouldn’t have listened. She might’ve told someone?”

Fugaku stares at him for a long moment with narrowed eyes, then coughs slightly. “I see. Well, I suppose that it should be funny to watch the elders figure out how to react. You _do realize_ that Uchihas are no more bothered by loud volume than other people?”

He shrugs. “Obviously. But some of the Inuzuka are because of their sharp hearing.”

“Hm… Have you ever considered working as a spy, Naruto?”

 _Oh, hell no; that’s entirely too much hassle._ Kurama shakes his head. “Nuh-uh. I’d be terrible at being sneaky, dattebayo! Niran’s always telling me I’d make a terrible cat because I’m not subtle enough.” _Not that he **wants** to be a cat. He’s completely fine with being a chakra fox, thank you very much, even disregarding his current state._

“Hn. I suppose.”

Kurama takes this to mean that the Uchiha disagrees but at least is willing to not push the topic. _Thank the Sage!_ Truthfully, even if he _was_ willing to, he knows spying wouldn’t suit him. His knowledge is less genius observation than having lived a _very_ long time and knowing things from the future that was.

“I want to be a policeman, dattebayo!” _Great, he’s starting to sound like Naruto, what with all the emphasis he’s needed to use lately._ Oh well, he supposes that it would be odder if he dropped the well-known verbal tic entirely. Humans get funny about that kind of thing.

~

He comes home to find Kakashi huddled on the sofa, rubbing Pakkun’s paw and muttering unintelligibly to himself, looking traumatized. Tenzo is a few feet away, curled up in a _nest???_ of bamboo, looking even more traumatized, if possible.

Kurama blinks. “Errr, what happened? Kakashi-nii? Tenzo-san?”

Other than their shoulders hunching a little more, neither gives any sign of having heard him. He looks at Pakkun.

“Apparently that old traitor was good for something. With him gone, the Council’s brought up the notion of having those with only one clan member or a kekkai genkai without a clan being required to reproduce. Again. And this time they passed it.” Pakkun says drily. “You’re not going to get a response from them for a while, since the decision directly affects both of them.”

 _What the-? Humans are weird. Wait. Naruto is-was the last of his clan, too._ He blanches as he realizes that in a few years it will be _him_ required to reproduce. Which… _ew._ He understands sex academically, of course, but bijuu don’t have any urge or need for it. After all, what would they do? Produce more bijuu? _Like the world needs more?_ And contemplating sex with a human is just…too many layers of cringe for him.

“Oh, not _you_ too.” He dimly hears Pakkun say in resignation.

Kurama frowns. Hadn’t that snake created children without resorting to sex? He’s pretty sure the oldest one was old enough that the technology had to have come from Konoha to begin with…

“Can’t they just clone babies for those who don’t want to…? I mean, Tenzo-san doesn’t have any interest in that in the first place, does he? And Kakashi-nii doesn’t trust anyone enough to do that. Oh! Or Kakashi-nii could adopt Tenzo-san, then they couldn’t force Tenzo-san to do it, and Kakashi-nii might be able to say no too!”

This gets an impressed look from Pakkun and enough of a twitch from Kakashi to convey his words are being contemplated, even if the traumatized expression hasn’t changed.

With a sigh, Kurama sets Niran down in Tenzo’s lap, bites his thumb and summons Tashi, Sonam, and Kiet, leaving the comfort cuddles to them while he goes to the kitchen and makes some sandwiches. Maybe the adult humans are fine not eating, but he’s _hungry._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Niran-male Siamese cat. Light brown ‘points’. Kurama’s main Siamese summon, and the summon he keeps with him almost all the time.
> 
> Kiet-male Siamese cat. Medium brown ‘points’. Kurama’s second main Siamese summon. Larger than Niran.
> 
> Tashi-male Fu dog. One of two of Kurama’s main Fu dog summons. White fur.
> 
> Sonam-female Fu dog. One of two of Kurama’s main Fu dog summons. White fur. Larger than Tashi.


	7. Rumor and Incidents

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Waterwalking, Anko, Gai. Sasuke finally makes an appearance in Kurama's life.

Kurama watches with a dry expression as Aya’s excitement over having a ninken of her own again disrupts her chakra control and drops both her and Jin into the small pond. Unlike his own summons, the puppy isn’t old enough to effectively use his chakra, and clearly objects to getting wet unexpectedly if Aya’s slightly pained yelp is anything to go by as Jin nips her in retaliation. Unfortunately, there’s nothing he can really do to help her other than to stand witness and make her stop when it’s time to. She needs to learn to control her chakra no matter her mood, and being nipped a few times is hardly the worst way to learn that lesson.

And getting dunked repeatedly is pretty good motivation to learn to water walk himself for the puppy. _Though, he’s extremely glad that he already knew how to water walk before acquiring Niran. And that Tashi had figured out water walking in short order after seeing Niran do it to show off._

~

Anko sidles up to Jouichi Uchiha at the bar and leans up to ask in his ear, “So, is it true that the Uchiha are unnerved by loud voices?”

Jouichi turns to blink at her, then smirks. “That depends on if you’re asking me on a date or if you’re planning to prank someone. If the former, then hell no. I love a woman who makes a lot of noise in bed. If the latter, can I watch?”

She rolls her eyes. Of course an Uchiha would think it’s a come on. “Neither, asshole. I just wanted to know if the rumor was true. You haven’t a chance in this lifetime of surpassing the guy I like, but if you want a chance at me looking at you twice, you have to at least be a jounin first. I’ve got standards, you know. Your looks might make the cut, but your skills certainly don’t.”

“Tch. I’m wounded.” He slaps a hand over his heart melodramatically, obviously unoffended, but an actual glimmer of interest in his eyes. “Who’s the guy you like?”

 _Well, not as if it’s a secret._ She shrugs. “Kakashi Hatake.”

He gives a low whistle. “Talk about high standards. Should I take that as a challenge?”

Anko looks him up and down thoughtfully. _Not bad._ “Sure. If you get to jounin and get your clan’s permission to marry out of the clan, I’ll give you a second look.”

Jouichi’s brows shoot up in surprise. “Get serious or go home, eh?”

“Exactly. I have no intention of becoming a notch on a bedpost for someone from a clan. So suck it up, or fuck off.” She’s fairly sure he’s too lazy to actually take her up on it.

He grins. “Challenge accepted. That means you have to keep your end, too.”

 _Oh kami, she forgot that Uchihas can’t resist challenges! She won’t be able to get rid of him now. The stupid bastards can’t be shook once they decide on something._ Anko sneers at him. “I’ve never gone back on my words.”

_Though she kind of wants this to be the first time, at the moment. What the hell will she do with an Uchiha, anyways?_

 ~

Because Fugaku is not a stupid man, _even if he is an Uchiha,_ Kurama is put on patrols part-time after the Aya incident. He’s not sure if Fugaku thinks he needs less time around the office in case Aya shows up again, or he just thinks Kurama needs a change and starting on patrols for experience is the way to do it.

The first patrol shift gains him nothing more concerning than a few sideways looks by uneasy civilians, and those are hardly abnormal in his experience. It’s a little boring, to be honest, but at least it’s a break from hauling paperwork back and forth. Since most of the Uchiha don’t really want him _doing_ the paperwork as of yet. He’s done some, here and there, and finds it suitably mind-numbing, so he’s not exactly _complaining_ about fetching and carrying given the alternative. And he’s _definitely_ not complaining about patrol.

He isn’t quite expecting the second patrol shift to bring reports of a jounin bumping into people and light poles and other things with alarming frequency despite apparently not being drunk, with several of those reports specifying the jounin as being Gai Maito. Kurama can tell the others in his patrol unit aren’t very happy about letting a genin near a jounin acting so out of character, but he points out that he knows Gai and might be able to get him to talk if they can’t.

They exchange glances, then nod and shrug, allowing it.

It only takes him one glance at Gai’s dazed face to heave a heartfelt sigh and step forward. _He’s seen this expression before._ “I know what this is about. I’ll deal with him if the rest of you wish to continue patrol rounds.”

The youngest on his unit, the one who is usually the least happy about his presence, actually bends down to look him in the face. “Are you sure, Naruto? Fugaku-sama is going to be very unhappy if you end up in the hospital over misestimating your capabilities.”

Kurama makes a grumbling sound, sighs again, then summons one of the larger cat summons to accompany him. “Good?”

“Sure, kid. Try not to put Gai-san or yourself in the hospital, okay?”

“Uh-huh.”

The cat paces him as he steps up to Gai and takes his hand. “Come on, Gai-nii. Let me take you home.”

A light tug has the jounin following him without resistance.

“What’s this about?” The cat enquires curiously. “I wasn’t expecting to be summoned outside of battle.”

Kurama grimaces. “Well, Gai-san is a jounin. Like one of your best hunters? And he’s acting odd. And I’m a kit as far as humans are concerned. So they didn’t want to let me do my job without someone bigger along to protect me.”

She eyes Gai curiously, then nods. “He is acting strangely even for a human, so I suppose I can see their worry, even if humans are rather silly about these things. I’m Daeng, by the way. Where are Niran and Kiet?”

He huffs. “They’re with Kakashi-nii and Tenzo-san. The village elders decided that they all need to have kits, and aren’t giving them a choice about doing so. Tashi and Sonam are there too. I’m taking Gai-san there, so they can take care of him too.”

Daeng flicks a red ear, then steps around to Gai’s other side to lean and subtly steer him around a knot of obvious civilians. “Do they not want to have kits?”

Kurama has to think about that one a bit. “I think it’s more that they don’t trust anyone to have their kits? Humans tend to expect one to only take one mate. And expect one to stay in an exclusive partnership with that mate after they have kits together.”

“That is _terrible._ ” Daeng sounds scandalized. “How can one expect to have strong kits if one is restricted to a single sire or queen to mate with? And to be forced to share one’s den with a mate one doesn’t trust is unthinkable! How could one trust that one’s kits were safe?”

He scowls. “You’re asking _me?_ Humans have a lot of odd social behaviors that they think work well for them as a group, even when they obviously work badly for the individuals in the group.”

“Humans are silly!” Daeng declares, tail tip twitching, then takes a moment to hiss at a foolish civilian dog who has run up barking, obviously under the misimpression that all cats are prey and to be chased. The hiss sends the dog yelping away, tail tucked tight between its legs as it flees. Incidentally, it also clears half a block of civilians ahead of them, which makes navigating temporarily easier.

“They are.” He agrees. _Honestly, that’s probably the nicest factual assessment of the human race ever._

Daeng escorts him to the front door of the Hatake place, looks over the still-dazed expressions of Kakashi and Tenzo, then dismisses herself with an amused, “Feel free to summon me for peaceful things like this. I can fight well enough if need be, but I find these sort of things more entertaining.”

 _Well, that’s useful._ Although he’d only summoned a cat because he didn’t want to have to explain to some well-meaning idiot that yet _another_ Fu dog is not an Inuzuka dog. _He’s certainly not going to turn down another summons willing to work within civilian settings._

Kakashi, at least, is now with it enough to cock his head curiously and stare at Gai.

Kurama pushes Gai at him, which has little effect, given that Gai is currently about six times his mass, and huffs at Kakashi, “Kakashi-nii, he was running into people and light posts and not even apologizing. I’m pretty sure they’re making him have kids too. _You_ take care of him. I’ve got to go back to work so I get credit for today’s D rank equivalents. Bye.”

With that, he leaves, shutting the door behind him and trusting that between his summons and Pakkun there will still be a house and unmaimed adult humans by the time he returns. _Humans. Such fragile little minds. Oh well. At least they’re **his** humans, so he knows they’ll recover soon enough._

~

Sasuke Uchiha is a _brat_ , and Kurama regrets coming back to the police station after making sure Gai is safely out of the public eye.

“You’re not supposed to be here.”

Kurama pauses. _Oh. Him._ “Yes, I am.”

“Nuh-uh. You’re too little to be here unless you’re in trouble! You’re in trouble, aren’t you?”

“Nope. I’m a shinobi. I work here.”

“You can’t be! You’re littler than me!”

Kurama glowers, then looks to the older Uchiha kit, who has said nothing yet.

Itachi clears his throat. “Actually, Sasuke, Naruto-kun graduated from Academy last year. See? He’s wearing a hitai-ate.”

“Wait, _this_ is the genius tou-san always talks about!?” The disbelief is ragingly clear. “But he looks stupid!”

“So does your face.” Kurama mutters.

“Yeah, yeah, well- My nii-san is the best nii-san, so there!”

He blinks at the change of subject, takes a moment to recall that Itachi is the one who had the dubious honor of slaughtering his own clan in the previous future, and decides he disagrees. “No. Kakashi-nii is better.”

“Nuh-uh! Nii-san is a _genius!_ He graduated at age _seven!”_

_What?_

_No, really. What?_

Itachi smiles slightly. “I’m afraid that’s not going to impress Naruto-kun very much, otouto. Kakashi-san is a genius himself and graduated at age six. And if you didn’t know, Naruto-kun is younger than you by several months.”

Sasuke makes the most pissed off face that someone with baby chub and duck hair can manage, and declares, “Well, you’re _still_ the best nii-san ever!”

“Thank you, otouto.”

Kurama grumbles under his breath, then states, “At least Kakashi-nii is smart enough to not do a job he hates all the time.”

With that, he grabs a stack of folders to take to one of the officers and starts to stalk off.

Sasuke trips him.

He manages to not lose or scatter any of the files, but the sudden use of chakra tatters the edges of the stack and the fall bruises his elbows and chin. _Why exactly had Naruto been friends with this…Uchiha again?_ Seething, he climbs to his feet deliberately, shoots Sasuke a glare filled with the KI he’s intentionally repressing, and walks off with strides that are a little too firm, refusing to give any verbal response to such a malicious, bratty action.

Behind him, he hears Itachi say in a calmly disapproving tone, “Foolish otouto, we will _talk_ about actions you deem suitable. That was not worthy of you.”

_Right. Like that will work. What he remembers of smug duck-butt hair is his refusal to get anything he doesn’t want to get unless it’s literally pounded into him. And half the time not even then._

Kurama reminds himself that he is an ancient chakra monster and has no obligation whatsoever to give kit rearing advice to humans, much less _Uchihas_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Daeng- female Siamese summons, flame point. About twice Kurama’s current height.

**Author's Note:**

> Fingles. To be added later.


End file.
